Hold Me For Tonight
by blueroseulan
Summary: EPILOGUE UP! PLEASE REVIEW! She's a known prostitute in Tokyo and we all know that prostitutes are never allowed to fall in love. But what happens when she falls for the Hitokiri Battousai himself? REVIEW!
1. And our story begins

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

December 29, 2004

DISCLAIMER'S NOTES: RK doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama.

AN: This is an A/U fic meaning nothing like this ever really happened in the anime. Also, this is a bit rated for the language and terms that I sometimes used. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this… KnK rawks!

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! IT'S EASIER TO UPDATE KNOWING THERE ARE MANY REVIEWS WAITING FOR EM TO READ (WINKS)

ON WITH THE STORY!

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A whore can never have any living standards, more so morality. A woman branded as the given title is given only one job to do; that is to fuck a man till he tires himself.

Harsh as it may sound, it was the bitter truth. And you rather take the offer or starve you and your family to death, literally. A girl cannot be permitted for a job. For girls are rather soft and shy by nature. A woman is what it called for. Given were the perfectly sculpted bodies, milky white skin and graceful figures, given were the beautiful eyes and sexy sultry looks…

But sometimes, a man can only see much.

They never realized that behind those sexy teases, one nightstand fucks and money exchanging was a woman… or rather, a girl crying for her lost innocence, weeping over the spilt morality on her bed. Behind those graceful movements, the slender curve of one's waist is a soul desperately lounging, grabbing for whatever decency she might grasp, wishing in silent prayer to go back to the day she chose prostitution as her lifetime job, and change her hastily made decision.

Whores can still feel.

As a woman lays on her bed, a man hovering above her and joining her body with his, she lays motionless… unmoving. Allowing the man to hold her, touch her and use her. After all, she was really getting paid for the job. But while whores remain impassive of any emotions, their eyes foretell a painful secret no one has ever been told.

Pain, Longing and Suffering.

No matter how benumbed a woman had been, no matter how bitter life has made her to be, she will always feel the hot sting of tears secretly cascading down to her beautiful smooth cheek, forever marring it with a scar, ugly to the soul, rough for the spirit. Her face turns into an odd angle as she reaches her orgasm. The once ecstatic careless pleasure now curved in a twisted torment. One had had to admit that the first few tries would have been pleasurable and enjoying for the body, no matter how guilty and dirty it made you feel after wards. But years allow change, and change happens even to whores. Gone were the pleasurable feelings, accompanied by the balm of ecstasy to the stinging hurt of guilt. Replacing it was the bitterness you felt in your heart, reminding you that with every man who touches your body, you become dirtier to the eyes of people, weighing down your soul with a heavier burden to carry.

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Maeba Kiyoku watched as her girls made ready for the night's show. The old hunched woman who possessed a toothless grin made sure all of her performers did well. No mistake was allowed. No flaw, everything must be perfect. Your grace, your poise and yes, even the amount of money you brought to the teahouse must be faultless. Many a time she had pushed a weeping woman out of her doors. Morality, innocence, ethics and purity must be thrown in the darkest corner of the teahouse, spat and stomped about. Virginity was never an issue. And never will it be. For Maeba made sure her girls bade well. The green wicked eyes never missed a thing, even a small flaw would find fault.

As she walked further inside the room, she noticed a particular woman with the unmistakable flowing jet black locks cascading down her back in front of the mirror expertly tying an obi around her waist.

"Kamiya."

Said woman turned to gaze at the shorter woman beside her.

"Yes auntie?"

Maeba frowned and tugged the obi tighter making it almost impossible for her niece to breath.

"I expect you to do well. It's a Saturday. Bring many men tonight."

With that the old woman walked off, missing the hasty look of desperation on her face before covering it up with an impassive mask.

Bring many men tonight 

It was an order, straight from her aunt and she dared not to disobey it, for she knew she owed her life to the woman. Her aunt having saved her from death and starvation by raising her and making her a well- knowned prostitute in Kyoto.

Bluerose 

Her title made its way on her lips, escaping as a breathless whisper while she adjusted her hair and her clothing to show ample cleavage. For once, she was thankful to her aunt for giving her that calling, that _alias. _ Bluerose was a person devoid of any emotions. A great fucker and a favorite amongst politicians. Yes. Bluerose was the person who danced for the audience outside the stage, the woman who pleasured men and earned money for the teahouse.

Yet Bluerose was a far cry from Kaoru Kamiya.

Kaoru felt disgusted and revolted with the way men touch her, how Maeba could order her about and how she allowed herself to rot in this kind of place with this kind of dirty work.

Bluerose never felt guilt, Kamiya Kaoru did.

She was the diamond among the others. She certainly knew that. She was the star of the night, treated better from the others, protected most because of her impeccable quality. Maeba made sure she only bed a man who can pay the right amount, which so to speak is very high. She was the most expensive and she brought a large amount of money in the teahouse.

Yet Kaoru could never feel redemption.

And she never will.

"Kao—I mean Bluerose-san?"

She turned to see Tsubame, wearing a daring kimono herself.

"You look beautiful Kaoru-san…"

"Arigatou Tsubame." She managed to give off a grateful smile.

Indeed she was; wearing a midnight blue kimono that fell off from her shoulders slipping past her elbows and showing an ample—if not too much—cleavage. Her hair was arranged in curls, halfway tied on the topmost crown of her head while the rest bounced all the way back. Her pale skin contrasted by the inky color of her tresses and her face wore make-up.

"It's your turn to perform… Gambatte yo..." the fifteen year old teenager said.

Nodding, she made her way towards the stage, face hardening and banishing any emotions. And as she faced the crowd and performed her number, she felt Bluerose take over the person she had become.

It was weird saying really how she felt like a completely different person when she did her duties as a whore. Bluerose became her façade, and she was thankful for it, because it helped her not to feel the guilt and emptiness afterwards. But still, there would be many nights when Bluerose and Kamiya Kaoru warred and her impassive persona waned making her guilt and emptiness twice the pain, as she lay exhausted on her futon.

She heard her name called and slowly she began to ascend the flight of step leading towards the stage, the music ringing in her ears. Deliberately performing her dance with precise grace and practiced fluidity, she allowed her senses to feel the sound, the gentle rhythm of koto strings. It had since been a long time she had mastered the art of the fan and the woman felt at ease, relaxed and instead enter her own graceful world, forgetting the men, the noise and the vulgarity of things around her midst.

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The Hitokiri Battousai watched as the woman he had eyed for a week performed her graceful dance. It was unusual for the shadow assassin to be found inside a teahouse watching a woman obscured by people. Normally he would be home by this time, reporting for his boss, doing his duty, and killing someone… All but finding himself inside this wretched place.

Yet something had caught his eye the night when he accompanied Kogoro Katsura inside the Red Dragon Teahouse.

That woman.

He heard the men call her _Bluerose_ and he wondered over the name. Rumors had it that men who paid a large amount only touched her. Normally by politicians they say.

He frowned at the thought.

His curiosity rose and she intrigued him, so he decided to watch her, the next day and the next until it became a week and she had become something akin to an aphrodisiac.

And so, the famous Hitokiri Battousai found himself in one of the hidden parts of the room, paying the caretaker a large sum of money for the sake of having her for a night.

A foolish notion it was really.

When she first entered the room wearing an almost ethereal yukata, she saw a man with flaming red hair resting at the far corner of the room. At once, her curiosity was aroused. _Is he? Is he the Hitokiri Battousai?_

When he turned his eyes to look at her, he was almost shocked with how she looked.

Rumors had it that she resembled a goddess.

Rumors had never been so true.

Her face was pale and glowing in the moonlight and her inky black locks contrasted the white of her skin. Her eyes held a lapis lazuli shade and her lips were perfectly shaped.

It was as if she was a goddess.

Yet even if her form was beautiful, perfect and without flaw, the man could feel her sadness, loneliness, emptiness and whatever dark emotions she harbored in her ki.

She advanced him, almost mechanically; this part the first step of her job and it gave the swordsman the opportunity to study her.

Her eyes were beautiful, but haunting. Cheeks were perfectly, sculpted, yet somehow, he could still see the invisible lingering traces of her tears. She did not speak, but her eyes spoke volumes, enough for him to feel the ache and loneliness she felt. From then on, the man realized something and quickly made his decision.

She was more than surprised—shocked maybe—when he suddenly stood up, and began to walk away.

"Wait!" her voice was confused, eyes perplexed. _Why pay if leave?_

"Why?" she asked, her tone betraying amusement, relief and something far more complicated.

His answer was simple enough.

"You don't look like you can fuck one more man tonight. If I bed you, my money would be wasted."

Painful, but true. Inwardly, Kaoru flinched, surprised by the frankness and harshness of his voice.

Surprise soon followed when he held her hand and led her towards the window. Astonishment further flickered in her eyes when he spoke.

"I am going to give this night to you. I'm going to help you escape this teahouse, for just a night. It'll give you the chance to do whatever you want, whatever you're not allowed to do inside. If I bed you, my money would go down the drain, but if you follow me, the money I paid is with worth for I pleasured both you and me."

She could only nod whilst he looped his arm tightly around her waist and leapt away from the high window. Kaoru had never even dared in her wildest dreams to use the skylight, as means of escape for it was far too elevated. And as they landed with a heavy thud on the ground, the prostitute could not help but feel grateful, indebted and… drawn to the man?

There was a spring nearby for Kaoru could hear water in her senses. Panic overcame her when she saw his retreating figure.

"Where are you going?" she asked her voice thick with alarm and urgency.

"To the spring. Comeback there an hour before daybreak. I will take you back."

He was gone after then. And she was left alone, standing in the middle of a forest glade.

TBC…

AN: Some notes to consider:

I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE! Just so you guys would know. If you're wondering why I used my penname as Kaoru's alias in this fic was because I couldn't think of any name suited to her situation anymore. So after days and days of racking my head for an appropriate name, I thought of using my penname instead and the name stuck. (I hope nobody flames me on this ;)

Secondly, Battousai isn't as cold and as deadly in this fic. I hope you guys understand that. For him not to bed Kaoru on their first night is proof enough that he isn't as brusque and as cruel as some think of him to be. He has a softer more passionate side that will be shown in the latter chapters that I hope you guys will appreciate.

I hope things got cleared up… on with the next chapter!

DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW!

JA!

BLUEROSE


	2. More than an understanding forged

Fanfic by blueroseulan

Standard disclaimers Apply! RK doesn't belong to em!

AN: Here it is, the second chapter… I hope you guys like it! On with the story!

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!

_Previously:_

_She could only nod whilst he looped his arm tightly around her waist and leapt away from the high window. Kaoru had never even dared in her wildest dreams to use the skylight, as means of escape for it was far too elevated. And as they landed with a heavy thud on the ground, the prostitute could not help but feel grateful, indebted and… drawn to the man?_

_There was a spring nearby for Kaoru could hear water in her senses. Panic overcame her when she saw his retreating figure._

"_Where are you going?" she asked her voice thick with alarm and urgency._

"_To the spring. Comeback there an hour before daybreak. I will take you back."_

_He was gone after then. And she was left alone, standing in the middle of a forest glade._

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_CHAPTER 2:_

_What do I do? He said to do the things I want… what I can't… but what do I do?_

She was more than confused. Her mind blank and un- registering no other facts.

Finally, she thought on taking a walk. Her steps starting with a slow pace, uncaring with what direction it took. Her mind suddenly became filled with different thoughts, her chest becoming heavy with emotions. Her breathing became ragged as her slow paced steps soon became rapid and panicked. She was running, though she never felt her feet touch the ground or the wet trails of tears tracing her cheeks. She was crying, for no apparent reason, but soon, she collapsed to the ground, sobbing with face buried on her palms.

She cried because that was what she wanted to do.

She cried because crying wasn't permitted inside the teahouse.

She cried because of the men who had touched her body countless of times.

She cried over the lost innocence and purity, her chastity and morality forever robbed.

She cried because she hated the woman she had become, hated her profession, hated the way she was used and manipulated.

She cried because of how dirty she had become. A woman eternally soiled and unclean. Filthy in the eyes of men, disgusting in the eyes of women.

_How many times? How many men? A dozen? Fifty? A hundred? How many? How many more?_

She could no longer feel her tears or the sharp stings of the protruding twigs around her. She was slowly numbing, her cries and her world, becoming a distant noise far from her sensitive ears. She was alone, trapped inside the devil of the world she had created for herself.

And then the demons began their attack.

It was nothing literal truly. For her mind was the one responsible for creating such foolish hallucinations. Yet in her eyes, they seem so real, so threatening that Kaoru could only shy away, clawing at her skin in a desperate attempt to banish the cruel visions she bade for herself. Nails leaving red marks and scars on her once smooth skin, the pain it dealt her made her further lead on to the idea that devils were hurting her, the nightmares and memories coming back to haunt her.

Amidst the waves of torment and suffering she felt in her heart, Kaoru screamed high in the heavens above, her cry reverberating in the deepest darkest parts of the forest.

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The Hitokiri Battousai was abruptly jolted awake from his light slumber upon hearing the shrill scream that sounded in his ears. He was up in a flash; Running towards the direction of the voice, very well knowing that it belonged to _her._

At first, she was nowhere to be found. Even with his combined speed and agility, the assassin could not find the source of the voice as he desperately searched for the woman. Fearful of what had happened to her. He could feel no other ki in the woods ad he could tell she was very near him. _Very near, but still far from his grasp…_

Finally, he found her concealed by a rounded azalea bush, body curled in a fetal position, her shoulders heaving with sobs, and mouth tumbling with incoherent noise. No sooner had he reached her did she once again start to claw at herself, desperately trying to wash away the dirt and impurity of her soul.

He was uncertain how to act. _Do I call her? Do I just stand here and do nothing? Or do I hold her and quiet her fears?_ Logically, the man knew that the latter proved to be the far best among the trio of his choices. It was better to comfort her rather than to stand idle beside her. No, that would not do. And besides, he had to stop her clawing lest she further injured herself.

It proved far difficult than he expected. She appeared to be stronger for a person having possessed a small stature. Finally succeeding in cradling her in his arms while he sat on the grass, he wrapped his free arm around her waist while the other struggled to stop her hands from clawing at her skin. Mumbling silent words at her ear, the assassin was more than uncomfortable in the situation. It was his first time to hold someone. Much less a _girl._ Of course he had, but now, he felt something a deeper connection with this woman they call _Bluerose._

After awhile, she had finally calmed down and she opened her glassy blue orbs to stare directly in his cool amber ones. If Kaoru felt any fear, she certainly didn't show it. The woman was far too exhausted and far too drained to even think about propriety and how close their bodies were pressed. All she could think of is how thankful she was, to have someone comfort her in her most desperate times of need.

The swordsman couldn't even depict the number of emotions that swam in her eyes, but he was sure he saw relief and gratitude yet before he could even speak, she had thrown her arms around his neck and buried her head in the muscular form of his chest, murmuring a string of thank-you's. He was astonished to say and a reluctant hand crept to stroke the small of her back. It was not long after though, did he feel her tension slacken and he realized that she had either dropped unconscious, or rather fallen asleep in his arms.

She found herself waking up on her own futon that morning. Rubbing her sore head as memories of last night came rushing back to her mind. Images of the man standing on her room, flinging both of them towards the forest. Visions of herself, crying, clawing at her own skin and the feel of touch and comfort as he stroked her in the back. Kaoru couldn't help but smile inspite of the headache she felt that was soon coming. Still surprised over the behavior of the man, she knew from what she had heard from men that the Hitokiri Battousai was a ruthless cold-hearted killer, who held neither mercy nor compassion in his heart. He was the most prized assassin of the Ishinshishi and he killed to bring a new era.

She met a totally different person last night.

She was _sure_ it was him. It _had _to be him. The unmistakable cross scar in his cheek, the flaming red hair and his cool amber eyes the other whores swoon about was still clearly etched deep in her mind. _And forever it will be… _The man she met was kind and compassionate, gentle, and comforting… if not a bit awkward? Though he tried to cover it with a monotonous tone and an impassive face, she could clearly see that he pitied her.

Kamiya Kaoru frowned at the thought.

Of all the things she loathed, pity was the most she hated.

_I do not need his pity._

Yeah. Her self-pity was enough on her list.

Further maddened at the thought, she stood up and kicked the covers away from her legs rather violently, donning a simple kimono, fully intending to busy herself with her chores to forget about the strange man.

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It would be weird saying, but even though the woman felt angered with her thoughts that morning; Kaoru could not help but wish and crane her elegant neck amidst the crowd in search for a particular flame haired man. Eyes roaming whilst she did her graceful dance, she felt her heart beat wildly against her chest when she spotted the familiar figure obscured in a dark corner, his eyes focused intently on her dancing form. Doing so much even hasten her number, Kaoru could only wish for nothing more than to join him, to thank him for what he has done.

Finally finishing her dance, she immediately hurried towards his direction, almost carelessly forgetting to walk gracefully, her steps falling into a pitter-patter movement. Careful not to draw attention for herself, she approached him with a flushed face, a gentle smile carved on her lips.

His eyes roved on her panting form, eyes sweeping over the fall of her kimono and to her bosom heaving in panted breaths.

"Battousai-san?"

He looked up to acknowledge her form, face red with the creeping blush.

"A—Arigatou… for last night…"

He could only nod, a small smile lighting his face before he suddenly grabbed her arm and led the surprised woman in the hidden recesses of the room where Maeba sat, counting money in a small table.

"Wha—what are you doing!" she whispered, eyes wide as saucer teacups, mouth pouted in a lovely frown.

His tone betrayed no emotion.

"Simple. I'm, having you again for tonight."

"Bu-but you can't!"

An eyebrow rose with her statement. "And why can't I?"

"Because you'll go poor. That's why."

Shaking his head he continued to half drag her towards the direction of the old woman. Dropping a heavy bag of money in front of the table, both watched as Maeba counted the coins with a look of growing satisfaction on her face.

Finally, she nodded; giving her permission to the man she thought would bed the Bluerose. Scant moments after, the leaving couple heard a famous politician mouth off in the background.

"And why can't I have her! I'm going to pay so why can't I have her tonight!"

Looking behind, they saw the form of Takeda Shukuchi, the famous corrupt politician seated as head of Finance department of the Shogunate.

"Gomen Shukuchi-san… demo the Bluerose has left with a man already… Come back again…. Perhaps tomorrow?" Maeba apologized, bowing in respect.

The round fat man looked up to catch a glimpse of the couple staring at him. Takeda could almost swear that he caught the woman grin at him and the man he identified as the Hitokiri Battousai smirk. With this, he roared, overturning the counting table with forced strength, attracting a great number of crowds and frightened whores.

"She's with the Hitokiri Battousai isn't she!"

"I…She.." Maeba stuttered.

"ISN'T SHE!" he roared.

Before the poor old woman could even nod, the pig was off again.

"STUPID WOMAN! You're frightened with what he could do right?"

"I didn't know!" Maeba defended.

"FUCK THAT WHORE! TELL HER I'D BE BACK TOMORROW AND THE HELL I'M GOING TO HAVE HER! AND MAKE SURE SHE'S RESERVED TOMORROW NIGHT!"

_TBC…._

AN: Takeda Shukuchi is a FICTIONAL character. I made him up and he isn't really the head of the finance dept. in Japan so there.

Kenshin was a bit cooler this time, a bit more trusting. I hope nobody complains about that… and I do wish you appreciate it.

Till the next chapter!

PLEASE REVIEW!

JA!

Blueroseulan


	3. The Birth of a Name

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

Standard Disclaimers Apply! RK doesn't belong to me!

_PREVIOUSLY ON CHAPTER 2:_

"_She's with the Hitokiri Battousai isn't she!"_

"_I…She.." Maeba stuttered._

"_ISN'T SHE!" he roared._

_Before the poor old woman could even nod, the pig was off again._

"_STUPID WOMAN! You're frightened with what he could do right?"_

"_I didn't know!" Maeba defended._

"_FUCK THAT WHORE! TELL HER I'D BE BACK TOMORROW AND THE HELL I'M GOING TO HAVE HER! AND MAKE SURE SHE'S RESERVED TOMORROW NIGHT!"_

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CHAPTER 3:

Battousai had hidden both the two of them in the shadow of the backstage. He could clearly feel her still shaking from the recent outrage, tears threatening to fall. Of course, he had no intention to bed her, merely wanted to repeat their rendezvous together like the past night. Stealthily and carefully escorting her back to the room, he was just about to warn her to meet him again by the spring when his sensitive ears picked up the sound of footsteps.

"Hush… the old woman is here." He warned.

She grew panicked. "What do we do? She'll pull me out if she sees we've not yet done anything!"

His voice was cool and unhurried. An exact opposite of what she heralded in hers.

"Take your clothes off."

Her eyes widened and her lips formed a big 'O'.

"Excuse me?"

"I said take your clothes off. Cover yourself with a blanket and pretend that you're nearing orgasm." He repeated.

Though she was both surprised and scandalized with his words, his tone held no room for argument and she hastily undressed while he turned to the other direction. Normally, being in a state of undress was usual for Kamiya Kaoru, but as she hurriedly took off her kimono, she couldn't help but feel a lot nervous and queasy about it.

But she had no time to ponder over her emotions and she scurried to cover herself with a blanket, watching as Battousai messed the futon, he, being naked from torso up.

"She'd be here any time. Mess up your hair." He fairly warned.

She bid as she was told and true to his words, scant seconds after, they heard a loud knock on the door.

"Bite your lips and moan." He hissed.

She threw him an indignant face but his expression told her something that made her create something akin to a moan escape from her lips.

"Louder!" he spat out in a whisper.

A look of sheer bewilderment crossed her face but though enraged, she bade herself to moan louder, creating nonsense as if it was a game. She frowned, throwing him a dark look before whispering in between her created whimpers.

"You too!"

Rolling his eyes he gave off a loud groan, one that made her suppress her laughter while she stood up, answering the impatient knockings on her door. Adjusting the blanket and Messing up her hair, she was thankful for the darkness or Maeba would not have missed the dark red blush staining her cheeks.

The old woman was mentally debating inside her mind whether to wait up or go. Mentally, she knew that Kaoru was doing her work and need not be disturbed; But her other side won and she decided to knock louder till a head pops out of the shoji. Imagine her surprise when the woman appeared, wearing apparently, only a blanket, clearly having been disturbed in her job. The man they called Battousai was lying on her bed, naked and panting, hair mussed up. He was clearly reaching the peak of his orgasm and was moaning Kaoru's name, a string of words such as 'I need you' and 'Get Back here and fuck me' escaping his lips. Far too embarrassed by the moanings she had heard and by the way her niece had appeared in the doorway, the older woman tried to stutter and scurry about, but not before hearing the tired voice of her niece.

"Auntie, Next time, don't bother me, I'm busy with my work. Okay?"

Had it been any other time, Maeba would have marched straight up to her niece and gave her a good scolding. But now was not the most conventional of times and the older woman could just nod and leave them alone.

Returning to the room and shutting the door with an emphasized 'click' Kaoru grabbed her kimono and carelessly tied the obi in place before she turned to her guest, eyes full with irritation, disbelief and bafflement, she berated with a hushed whisper

"What the _hell _was that about?"

Instead of giving her an answer, his face clearly showed confusion and even growing irritation.

"What was what about?"

She rolled her eyes. Heavens! Wasn't it obvious?

"The thing you did! Goodness…"

He raised his hand defensively, rising up and reaching for his gi. "I was merely protecting both of us. "

"But you didn't have to show that much! And that moanings and your words… Do you have any idea how you embarrassed me?" she fairly screeched.

He could already feel his temper rising up. _Uh-oh…. This is no good… my temper matched with hers…_

"We just did what we were supposed to do." He replied, trying to simmer his bubbling anger.

"And what were we supposed to be doing?" she asked indignantly.

He gave her a dark look. "Well, if it wasn't **_that_** obvious, we were pretending to have sex."

"WHY!"

"Because that's what whores do and that's what you should do."

The Hitokiri Battousai never expected those words to come out of his own mouth but the most that he didn't expect was the hard painful slap that stung his scarred cheek. Had he been carefully on guard, he would have caught her palm and it would never have collided against his skin. Yet he was distracted; both by his own words and her reaction.

For a moment she couldn't speak. Too angered to even have any coherent thought on her mind. Yet once again, her eyes spoke volumes and it was enough for him to feel the consequences of his harshly bitten words. She was shaking with suppressed wrath, her body movements betraying her impassive face, fully showing him how she felt.

No one spoke, but the tension in the room itself was more than suffocating. Both heard the midnight chime of the clock and the man reached out to her.

"And where are you taking me?" her tone held a bitter resentful tone.

"To the forest."

"No you're not taking me."

"Yes I am."

The shadow assassin really tried to make their escape easy and uncomplicated. _Really. _But not to be undone, Kaoru put a hell of a fight, struggling against his grasp and pushing him away from her. In the end, both landed in the forest floor with a loud oomph with Kaoru toppled over the form of the swordsman. Momentarily forgetting her rage, she had the grace to blush with their awkward position. After with what seems like an eternity, she pulled away and stood up at her feet, dusting invisible particles in her kimono and dreadfully wishing that her eyes had not given away the true feelings she had for him.

If ever he saw something in them, he certainly didn't show it. But something akin to guilt flickered in his face as he stood up and began walking away.

Kaoru didn't surely feel at least bit satisfied with his reaction. Culpability began to filter her mind as she stared at his back. Of course he had no other intentions but to help not only her but also _both _of them. He didn't do anything bad or outrageous, mainly asked her to undress, moan and _act as_ if they were doing something. Not necessarily _asking _her to _actually _do it with him. So, why the hell should she feel mad?

_I… well... erm… e-eto…_

For the record, Kamiya Kaoru's mind went blank.

Any other reason?

Zero

Nil

None.

Fine, she'd give up.

_Well… maybe a reason is… it was supposed to be romantic and stuff? He'd be at least a bit gentle and not exactly ordering me to undress…_

Of course she knew it wasn't his fault.

Really.

Huffing in indignation and unadmitted guilt, she frowned. So, she had no valid reason to be angry with him and the next thing to do was to ask for sorry. Yep. That was what she ought to do right?

Thus, Kamiya Kaoru found herself walking towards the direction of the small spring where a red haired hitokiri rested. Her heart thumped wildly on her chest, uncertain if her intrusion was accepted. She knew he was aware of her presence. He was an assassin right? So, he knew she was there. But still, he didn't move, making her more nervous.

"I'm sorry."

The hitokiri Battousai looked up. Surprised with what she had said, her face filled with guilt.

"I shouldn't have done that. I knew you were only trying to help both of us." She murmured with heart felt regret

Again, he was taken aback. Here he was, the one who had said many nasty words, phrases that had stung, and still, she was the one asking for an apology? Truly, this woman never ceases to amaze him.

When he made no reply, Kaoru assumed that he was still angry with her past behavior and she began to walk away, her heart heavy with guilt.

"Matte."

He was standing up and his eyes glittered with an emotion Kaoru could not place. He ushered her to come near him and she did, giving her another rare opportunity to study the fine lines that marred his face.

"I'm sorry too…for saying those words…"

She looked away, eyes filling with the bitter sting of tears and her lips forming into a sad, bittersweet smile.

"What you said…It is true…" she murmured.

He noticed the wounded look that passed her face and he once again cursed himself for being so uncouth with his words. He wished for nothing more than to take back everything he had said and kept quiet in its stead. But what is done is done. It cannot be taken back.

A tentative hand rose to stroke a stray tear that had fallen on her face. But the tears would not stop and soon, he had Kaoru once again sobbing in his arms. Cheesy as it may sound, the Hitokiri Battousai found himself for the second time, in an incomprehensible situation.

"Why… why are you doing this to me?" she sobbed.

He couldn't speak, mainly because, he himself didn't know why. Instead, he continued to stroke her back in an attempt to pacify her cries.

"Why? Why are you so kind? Why!"

_Kind. _Hah! How he wanted to laugh with the irony of her words. Kind? An assassin is never kind.

_Cruel._

Yes. That was the right word.

"I am not kind. I am cruel and I kill." He said, unflinching.

She gazed at him with bloody red eyes, her face filled with confusion.

"But you help me!"

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm a killer." He bit out.

"It is! For me…" she whispered. Before burying her face in his chest.

He was surprised, astonished and amazed with her acceptance.

"No one has ever thought of me like that before…" he murmured. Unconsciously wrapping his arms around her shivering form.

She was quiet for a moment, her sobs dying down, before she spoke once again, her words surprising him and making him tighten his embrace.

"No one has ever been kind to me ever since I stepped in the teahouse."

His eyes flashed with sympathy as he pondered over the thought of the parallelism of their fates. _And here I was, thinking I'm the unluckiest person alive…_They were both bound by the threads of cruel demise. Subjected to pain and suffering. He subjects, she, subjected. There was an unmistakable bond that had forged between them, making him drawn to her like a moth in an oil lamp, however uncanny it may be. They had barely known each other, not even the first of their names, but hard as it is for him, the Hitokiri Battousai found himself trusting the young prostitute.

He gently led her towards the mossy bank of the spring where their reflections were softly illuminated by the moon. Throwing him a questioning glance, he pointed towards the sparkling water.

"Do you see both of us?" he admonished. She nodded and he continued.

"We are one and the same."

She was surprised by the depth of his words and she couldn't help but ask.

"How so?"

He kept a sober face, his seriousness evident.

"We are both held under the cruelty of life."

Bowing her head, she nodded in resignation. Content in just watching their reflection in the cool waters below. Gazing at his face, she lifted a delicate hand, touching the cross scar that marred his cheek.

"Does it still hurt?" she whispered gently.

He looked away, avoiding her touch. Such brief caress is and never will be permitted to an animal such like he. It just isn't proper.

"Don't." he simply said.

"Why?"

"Because I am tainted and touching me will make you impure."

Mildly she shook her head. "I am a whore… I will forever be impure and unclean. Both in the eyes of men and women alike."

He was taken aback with the harshness present in her voice. Did she think of her so impure and so violated?

"No… don't say that… a woman's profession should not be the scale of comparison with the limpidness of her heart and soul. "

Kaoru took in a deep suck of breath. Unsure whether to feel euphoric with his words or cry and sob. She chose none of the two and instead voiced a question that left the man uncomfortable.

"Something in you more than intrigues me… Hitokiri Battousai… tell me… who are you…?"

Inwardly, he was debating with himself. _Do I tell her who I really am? Or would it be one of the worst decisions I could ever make in my whole damned life? Maybe she's a spy… or maybe she's just one of them…_

She seemed to sense his anxiety for she was quick to dispel his doubt.

"I'm no enemy. You should know by now. But if you don't want to tell me… it's okay… I'm not forcing you…" she murmured.

That was the last to break his hesitation, speaking in a low voice he ushered.

"Himura Kenshin. That's my name."

She was surprised with his reply. No reservation, no stipulation et al.

He continued, astonishing her further more with his willingness to open up.

"I used the alias Hitokiri Battousai for the reason same as yours. To protect my name and myself. No one knows my true name. You are the only living soul who knows who I really am. I don't know why I told you. But I just did."

A grateful lovely smile spread across her lips making his heart flutter lightly in his chest.

"Th-thank you for telling me… Himura-san…."

He nodded. Inwardly, he felt as if a great mass had been removed, the heavy burden he felt weighing down his heart melting away. It was as if, his guilt had been relieved, making the terrors of his fucked up life dissolve by just the mere fact of telling her his name.

"I've told you my name… it's your turn to tell me yours." He whispered, nearing her and locking gazes with her.

She nodded, and in a voice so fragile he thought she would break, she whispered.

"I am Kamiya Kaoru… otherwise known as The Bluerose of the Sakura Teahouse."

The hours passed without the couple's notice. Each moment was filled with growing connection as they found themselves snuggled under the old tree of oak knowing more about one another, realizing that they were united more with just the thought of being dirty and immoral. Kaoru was surprised how she could get the assassin talk little by little about his past. She now knew he worked for the Ishinshishi; a group of royalists trying to bring forth a new era. In return, she had told him how she had entered the teahouse and became the famous Bluerose.

"My father died when I was fourteen. Maeba-jiisan adopted me and trained me to become the proper geisha. She fed me, clothed me and gave me a roof above my head. But in exchange

Of this, she pushed me into a profession I didn't even dream of, a job I so loathed it came to the point where I wanted to kill myself. It's so hard you know, identifying yourself as a social outcast, a whore… a prostitute who sells flesh and sex for men. It's humiliating but it's reality."

He didn't speak. Only pulled her closer to him, trying to dissipate the bubbling anger he felt for all the men who had touched her. Something inside him had marked her unmistakably as _his._ No words were needed. Her words were enough to clear the distinction.

She shivered and scooted closer to him, bodies in an impossible distance, resting his cheek at the crown of her head, he asked.

"Bluerose… where did that come from?"

Again, her lips curved into a bittersweet smile. One that he hated to see and loved to replace with another without pain.

"Maeba-san christened me as Bluerose because according to her, blue roses are far the most exotic and striking among all plants in the world. Hard to cultivate and very sensitive, they are by far the best and the most exceptional. Very special she says… but," she paused, her face turning wistful, "I do not think as quite the same. "

"Why?"

"Because," she continued, "For me, blue roses are foolish. A symbol of deception. They say roses are red, a perfect picture of love, compassion, purity and spirit. A rose such with a color of blue does not carry those same intense emotions. Instead, a Bluerose will always be a symbol of impurity, immorality, lost innocence and a corrupted soul. It depicts an image of forlorn suffering, the lapis lazuli color something that resembles misery, loneliness and wretchedness."

Self disgust and loathing was evident in her voice, making him cringe inwardly. Her voice was full of defiance and anger, he could tell, yet she kept a straight face and he all the more developed the urge to wrap his arms around her and to protect her from all the nightmares life threatened to bring.

And so, that was what he just did.

To say she was surprised would be an understatement when she felt his arms wrap around her form. Shocked with the stunt he just pulled off; Kaoru could only remain deathly still, taken aback with the assassin's forwardness.

Even the man himself was surprised with what he had done. But what was done was done and he never felt regret. Instead, he closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her under his hold, memorizing her intoxicating scent of jasmine and burying his face in the fall of her hair.

"I will protect you… from now on…"

His whisper made strange sensations run down her spine. It was his oath, his promise and she knew he was an honorable man. It would be foolish if she didn't trust him now and it would be imprudent if she denied that she felt something for him.

Closing her eyes and reaching to touch his arms, she rested her chin on the well-chiseled muscles on his chest. How she wished time would stop and trap both of them in its grasp. How she wished…

"I wish, tomorrow never comes…"

Surprised with the tone of sadness she placed on her words, the man looked up, understanding settling on his gaze as realization dawned to him that she was adamant to leave him just as he was to her.

"Me too…"

And then, under the yellow bluish shadow the moon illuminated and the weeping sakura blossoms that swayed on the midsummer's night, he kissed her, uncertainty and fear dissipating in his lips. No words were needed, no permission to be asked. Everything was conveyed with the kiss they shared. Yearning and understanding fully felt and conveyed, both could only close their eyes and pull one another tighter, never wanting to let go and the mere thought of separation painful.

TBC…

AN: So there… they've opened up to one another haven't they?

I was told that blue roses are indeed very hard to cultivate. That's why Kaoru's situation is so ironic. ( You see now why I had to use bluerose…It would be too hard to think of an alias with a proper explanation…)

I found the mock love-making amusing. Typing that part made me laugh imagining how the two would have looked like. Anyways, don't forget to leave a review before you go to the next chappie!

JA!

BLUEROSE


	4. Chapter 4: Author's note

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guys… There's been a mistake… a big big big mistake… The chapter I had uploaded was for my other fic "Open your Eyes and See Me." I have corrected it and you can now read the right chappie in peace.

Obviously it really is my fault… GOMENASAI! Please don't get mad at poor old me… I should have checked it  for those who realized that it was for my other story, good for you guys, but for those who became confused, I'm sorry but this is for my other story.

I hope you guys don't get mad at me that much and continue reading this… I'm so sorry for all my reviewers! It wont happen again, that I promise you. Please please bear with me !

Now on you go to the next chapter to see what really happens.

Again, gomenasai!

Bluerose


	5. Chapter 5: Rendezvous by Chance

Fanfic by blueroseulan

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY! RK DOESN'T BELONG TO ME!

AN: I don't want to rant on so I'm just reminding you to leave a review afterwards k?

_Previously on chapter 3:_

_And then, under the yellow bluish shadow the moon illuminated and the weeping sakura blossoms that swayed on the midsummer's night, he kissed her, uncertainty and fear dissipating in his lips. No words were needed, no permission to be asked. Everything was conveyed with the kiss they shared. Yearning and understanding fully felt and conveyed, both could only close their eyes and pull one another tighter, never wanting to let go and the mere thought of separation painful_

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CHAPTER 4:

The streaming rays of sunlight were the first to touch her face that morning. Opening her sleepy eyes, Kaoru felt disappointment knowing that she would wake up with only a pillow by her side and not with the man she loved.

Wait a minute… loved?

Love?

Before she met Himura Kenshin, Kaoru vowed never to find herself in a dilemma most young prostitutes often find them in.

Loving.

It was silly. They should _all _know that whores are not permitted to feel. Something between a costumer and a prostitute is never ever allowed.

But with the Hitokiri in her life, Kaoru wasn't so sure anymore…

Her thoughts were all and intruded when she heard a loud rapping on her shoji. The love thing, she would have to put aside. For now, she had to pretend. Both for hers and his sake as well.

The disgruntled face of Maeba reminded her of the little tryst they had last night and Kaoru couldn't help but blush, remembering the hell of a show they had to put up.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu Maeba-san." She politely greeted, bowing her head in respect.

Instead of returning the greeting, the old woman just all the more frowned, making the younger woman a bit uncomfortable with the situation.

"Maeba-san, Gomenasai for last night… I didn't mean to be rude… I was just… too carried away…"

"Hmmph! You should well apologize with the behavior you had last night… But that's quite understandable Kamiya. Though that's not my priority right now." Maeba sneered.

"What do you mean Auntie?" she asked confusion clear on her voice.

"Takeda Shukuchi put an uproar last night. An uproar which sent whores scurrying in and of course, customers, scurrying away. H wanted to bed you last night. But you already left with the shorter man. To make all this holy crap short, he will be expecting you tonight."

All the other words that her aunt might have said were drowned in Kamiya Kaoru's ears. Fear and panic gripped her senses, making her knees weak and her head spin.

_What do I do now? I totally forgot about Takeda Shukuchi! I was there… we were there when he came in… and I… oh god… what do I do now?_

"You okay Kamiya? You look pale. You can't afford being sick tonight. Go down and have breakfast. Maybe you'd feel better." With that, Maeba walked out, trusting her niece to follow.

Kaoru was shocked, panicked, astounded and overwhelmed. Her mind went blank supplying no answers she desperately needed. Whatever she does, Takeda would still have her tonight. Even if Battousai comes, Maeba had solely sold her to Takeda. There was no other way to do things out.

She was hopeless.

The whole day, Maeba spent time fussing around her, making her try on fitted gowns and daring outfits, doing her hair and preparing the room they would share. The other whores stood beside, watching as the mother of the house fussed over their diamond. Everyone was whispering rumors. Talking about the luck of the woman who could get the chance to bed a government official and become rich for her whole entire life.

But amidst all these excitements, all these fussing, Kaoru could only stand weakly, Dread and fearful anticipation eating her whole being making her all the more sick and frail.

As the night approached, Kaoru could not find the heart tobid Bluerose to come out. Panic and fear overwhelmed her senses as she sat nervously on the edge of the cushioned seat of the private room she would share with Takeda. She was alone, with only the ticking of the clock echoing in her senses and as the tick tock reverberated in her ears, Kaoru found herself dreadfully wishing that the door might never open and that lightning may just strike her dead away.

And then she heard the footsteps.

Her heart beat wildly on her chest, as she felt nauseated with trepidation. But of course she had to pretend that she was sexy, confident and jaded. Draping her legs and baring her skin, she closed her eyes and bade her tears to stay in place, unsuccessfully trying to cover her face with a mask.

_Any moment now…_

Kaoru closed her eyes.

_He would come in and the nightmare would start…_

She bit her lip

_Oh god…_

Bowing her head and pressing her eyes tightly shut, Kaoru felt astounded when a warm palm encompassed her cheek.

_Kenshin?_

Looking up, she saw neither Kenshin nor Shukuchi. But instead a tall man with a muscular built and a white hanten with the kanji 'aku' on the back.

"Who… are … you?" she could only whisper…

"Sanosuke Sagara. Sano for short." He said, bowing hastily.

Surprise and confusion spread on her face as she tried to comprehend the situation. _Not Takeda, not Kenshin… who then?_

Noticing the look she had on her face, Sano could only smirk.

"Takeda couldn't come in. Had to do something very important in the government. I already talked to Maeba… that miserable old slut. Robbed me off me money…and then…"he stopped, finding out that the girl was far too flabbergasted to understand his words. "Oh well… it's exactly not my money…"

Kaoru couldn't interpret anything that the man was saying. All _but _the last part of his sentence._ Not his money?_

"Excuse me… I don't understand… what do you mean not your money?" she could not help but ask.

"Oh well, I mean it's not my money… It's somebody else's." He admitted rather sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

With this, her heart began to beat wildly, but now, not with trepidation but with anticipation.

"Of course… I know that… but whose money?" she asked a bit impatiently.

Before Sanosuke could even answer, Kaoru heard her aunt's footsteps approaching their room and she quickly ran to the door, loosened her kimono and popped her head out.

"Auntie, I'm at work. Don't bother. Okay?"

A wide-eyed Maeba could only nod and walk away as Kaoru hastily ran back to her guest to confirm her suspicions.

"Oh… well I don't think I should tell you. And I think we're running out of time. So hop on."

"Hop on?"

The man nodded with affirmation. "Trust me with this one miss. I won't hurt you."

She looked at him, straight in his eyes and then nodded. After all, she really had no choice. Climbing onto his back, Sagara Sanosuke flung open the wide British-styled window and threw their forms out in the cold summer's air.

They landed with a hard 'thud' on the ground. Much less graceful than when she landed with Kenshin. But she was all right. And her anticipation was already paining her. He led her towards a clearing and then abruptly stopped, tensing her at once.

"I should leave you here now. Miss Kamiya. My friend would be here any time. Ciao." And before Kaoru could even mouth a thank-you, he was already out of sight. Looking around, she noticed that she was unfamiliar of the place, making her all the more wonder with the sudden twist of events the night held for her.

"Kaoru!"

He saw everything from the drop to the window to the run to the woods. Mentally reminding himself to berate Sanosuke for having landed on the ground with less cared grace, he advanced towards the lone girl, standing in the middle of the large clearing.

"Kaoru!"

She looked up, searching for the voice. When she did, her face held a thousand emotions he could not place…

"Kenshin!"

In a flash, she was running towards him, her hair whipping wildly on the wind and her hand clutching her kimono tightly on her chest.

Their distance was a good distance apart and he wanted to meet her halfway. But he noted the heaviness of her steps and the sudden paleness her skin showed and he fastened his pace—

--Which was a good thing... Because had he been a few seconds late, he would not have been able to catch her when she fell towards the ground. Catching her in his arms, he was more than shocked with what had happened. Seeing her unconscious form, his hand automatically whipped to feel her pulse. Thankfully she had one—or else he wouldn't haven known what to do if she didn't—but it was weak and shallow. Nevertheless, _it was still there._

Carrying her towards a big wide tree of maple and settling his body between the widely spread roots, he cradled her frail form, the light of the moon illuminating her face and giving him the chance to study her features.

She was deathly pale. And her eyes were tightly shut, eyebrows knitted into a frown and her lips pouting downwards. He didn't know what exactly happened and what exactly to do. Sure he was an assassin, and he knew what was the right thing to do with his body… he had to, for he had to use it as his advantage. But he was used to treating himself when he was wounded and bloody, tired and exhausted after a battle was won. But Kaoru was not at all wounded, nor was she bleeding and it made him all the more alarmed knowing that the complications may arise, inside her body and cannot be seen by the naked eye.

Soon the object of his scrutiny began to stir and Kenshin could not help but sigh in relief. Seeing her eyelids slowly flutter open made him relax knowing that she was already awake, safe from the demons that may torment her when she was asleep. Cool amber orbs gazed into clouded lapis lazuli as she slowly tried to blink away the hazy mist that shrouded her eyes.

"Kaoru… Are you okay? What are you feeling right now?" his voice was filled with worry, making her smile a bit, only to have it replaced by a frown.

"Ugh… My head hurts like hell.." she murmured.

"What happened?"

She shook her head negatively. "I honestly don't know why… Maybe it was the tension…" she replied, sitting up with his help and slightly wincing in pain.

"Tension? Why so?"

Scooting closer to his form and nestling her cheek on the base of his neck, she said seriously,

"Well… I was scared..."

"Scared of what?" his voice held an impassive tone.

"Scared of facing Takeda Shukuchi… I was almost suffocated with the thick air blanketing the room I was going to share with him… I don't want to share my body with him… that pig…" she glared with disgust and anger.

He lifted an eyebrow and only held her closer to his form. "And what made you think that I would forget about tonight?" he asked matter of factly.

This time, a heavy crimson blush crept all over her cheek even as she tried to hide her face in the shadow of his muscular built.

"I don't know… I honestly thought you were too busy with your work and you forgot about it." She answered rather sheepishly.

He shook his head. "Baka Kaoru. You should always put in mind that you're my first priority. First. Always. Work could come later, but your safety is my top concern." He declared, resting his chin atop her head and breathing in her jasmine scent.

"Oh Kenshin, I forgot to ask you," she perched up, twisting her form to face him, "Who was that man who helped me reach you? The tall person with a hanten that wrote an 'aku' character on the back?"

He grinned, rubbing the back of his head. "That was Sanosuke. He's my best friend.. I could see that he isn't that very much practiced on his landing." He observed, his gaze directed to the slight patches of bruises that ran high on her knee.

"Well, he's not as good as you are. But the very fact that he rescued me from Takeda… I should thank him…but wait, _what _exactly happened to that man? Sanosuke-san told me that he had to do something very important… What was it?"

He grinned impishly, one that Kaoru rarely saw and treasured. His face wore a look of pure mischief but she had no heart to reprimand him.

"I… Well you see… I sorta _arranged _his departure. "

"You _what?" she shrieked._

"Er… well… I snuck up on the local office of finance and well… I hid a very large sum of money in his cabinet, alerted the guards and took off… Leaving him in trouble…" He admitted; a bit scared with the reaction she had on her features.

"_Kenshin Himura! _Did I ever tell you to go that far for me! Now the poor pig's in a big big mess!" she almost yelled.

"Exactly! So that you won't bed him and you can stay with me." He declared triumphantly.

Shaking her head violently, she stood up suddenly, surprising him and automatically enabling his hand to whip towards her arm.

"Are you mad? Kaoru?" he asked, panic overlooking his visage.

The woman sighed; very well knowing that she couldn't stay mad for long with the man. It was the only way he could think of, no matter how brutal and uncanny it may be but nevertheless she was touched. Touched by the lengths he was willing to overthrow for her sake and with the concern he had always tried to show even during the very first time.

When he saw the look of exoneration that passed on her face, he almost smiled. Glad that he was pardoned. He was just about to stand up when he abruptly felt her ki die and her frame fall limply on his arms. At once panic coursed through his spine, once again confusing him from what was the right thing to do. Like before, she had a pulse but weaker from what was normal and it frightened him, making the growing ache in his heart pain.

It took a longer time for her to regain consciousness than usual—but she did—and Kenshin was far more than grateful. He was totally unsure of what might have happened. Both physically and emotionally to the woman but it alarmed him. Cradling her thin form in his arms, his palm caressed her pale face while he spoke, trying very hard to calm his voice.

"Kaoru… I don't understand what's happening… But I'm sure you need rest… I should take you back…" he started, attempting to pull him on his own feet, this time with her body in tow.

Her touch was soft to his skin and her voice was so soft he hardly even heard her. She had huddled closer to his form, closing her eyes and whispering,

"No… don't go… Please stay here… with me…"

She looked so beautiful, so angelic, with her head cradled at the crook of his neck and her perfume wafting in his senses that he had no heart to deny her request. The way she clung to his gi made him all the more convinced that he should give in to what she wanted. So, settling back to his earlier position, he adjusted her, where she would be more comfortable, and contented himself with just watching her fall asleep, his own eyelids falling heavy, and mentally noting to wake up before the sun rises in star-lit canopy.

TBC…

AN: Sano made a brief appearance in this chapter (Aww sorry for all those Sano lovers out there… he only had an eensy weensy part on the fic) But if you review… well, I could put him in the next chappies (WINK WINK)

Don't forget to review!

JA!

BLUEROSE

PS:

For those of you who are reading 'Open your Eyes and See me', I'd be updating within this week… please bear with me… and do continue reading it… I've put a lemon and a plot on the next chapter so that would be teaser enough…


	6. Chapter 6: Illness

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

Standard Disclaimer's Apply: RK doesn't belong to me!

AN: Oh Gosh… thank you guys for those reviews… and if ur really wondering why the hell did I use my name( somebody told me I had insulted myself ", ) well it's alright. It's better than typing in another name and offending somebody else. But guys, you're the best!

Don't forget to review!

_Previously on chapter 4:_

_She looked so beautiful, so angelic, with her head cradled at the crook of his neck and her perfume wafting in his senses that he had no heart to deny her request. The way she clung to his gi made him all the more convinced that he should give in to what she wanted. So, settling back to his earlier position, he adjusted her, where she would be more comfortable, and contented himself with just watching her fall asleep, his own eyelids falling heavy, and mentally noting to wake up before the sun rises in star-lit canopy._

_Chapter 5:_

_K_

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It already had been a routine for Kaoru to wake up in the morning inside her room on her own futon, alone and searching for a red headed man. But normally, mornings wouldn't be accompanied with such a pain spreading on her chest and an uncertain heaviness weighing down her body. Wondering what was wrong with her, the woman tried to stand up, fully intending to forget her sunup woes and start her household chores in teahouse.

But that was not so.

She fell back on her feet, surprised and unsteady, azure eyes blinking with confusion and disbelief as her body gave way and settled back on the thin futon that rested on the floor. Groaning in pain for her poor back, Kaoru decided to try once again, undaunted, and rationalizing that it must have been stress and tension that might have caused her discomfort at that moment.

Again, that was not so.

If it were only for the coughing, Kaoru would not have been so surprised and shaken. After all, Coughs and Colds were a thing common in the teahouse.

But Kaoru did not expect to see blood.

So astounded was she that the woman didn't even realize that Maeba had entered the room, witnessing the whole scene. Shrieking as she hurried towards the prostitute, Kaoru was almost deafened with her aunt's shrill loud voice.

"Kaoru! What on Kami-sama's Name have you been doing! Oh dear gods! What trouble have you gotten your own fucking body into?

If Kaoru had any more answers on her already dry tongue, it was all garbled with the hoarse painful coughing that erupted on her throat making her spill blood in the process and fall back on the floor. Tears were already leaking on her eyes. Mingling with fear, panic, and pain too easy to feel, too hard to disperse. How she wished Kenshin were here! She wanted nothing more than to be comforted with the solace he offered to be assured with his soothing voice that everything would be alright and she was going to be okay. She wished that he would be beside her, and not the old woman she called her aunt who seemed to be more furious than concerned.

And true to her words, Maeba was far more furious and concerned _with _the money she would be _losing _and _not_ the welfare of her niece.

"If that coughing doesn't wear off till tomorrow, I'm going to take you to a doctor… Hell my money is going down the drain…" the woman muttered under her breath, colorful curse words, surrendering on her nasty tongue.

"Get dressed. That doesn't give you the excuse to lounge around all day. If I aint going to use yah tonight, might as well make you a bit useful in the house today!" she cackled, slamming the door, footsteps heavy on the stairs.

Kaoru bit back a sob, trying very hard not to cry and not to accept the panic creeping down her spine. She was too weak to move, too feeble to even get up but she provoked herself, fumbling to even get at her own two feet.

Dressing proved to be far difficult, especially when every after two seconds, you run short of breath. She only managed to survive in walking towards the main hall when she thought of Kenshin. Him at her side, smiling and sharing his own set of silent deep observations. She missed him. Even if it had only been a matter of time since they last saw one another.

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The night was still young but many men could be seen piling towards the exit of the Red Dragon Teahouse, as the Hitokiri Battousai's keen eyes observed. Curious, he made his way inside and asked one of the men who was unsuccessfully trying to squeeze himself out of the hullabaloo on the door.

"Sumimasen… Why are you all leaving?" he asked in a monotonous voice, careful to hide his face under his cloak, lest the man identified him as the most famous shadow assassin of the Bakumatsu era.

Grunting, the man replied with an angered voice. "Hell! Bluerose aint playin' tonight! Goddamned paid a lot of money just to see her shake that gorgeous body of hers! Hey You! That old woman! Gimme my money back! " He roared, raising his fist and forgetting that he was in fact _talking _to someone.

But Battousai had already heard enough. And it certainly was enough to cause panic bells ringing on his mind.

_She isn't performing?_

_Why?_

_Did something happen?_

_I swear if someone touches her…_

These thoughts were reeling on his head as he made way towards the desperate hag who tried to make men stay… although she proved futile of her intentions.

"Sumimasen Maeba-san… I just want to know why isn't Bluerose performing tonight?"

The woman yelled to his ears and this was enough to make Kenshin almost pull out his katana and have her head. Save that from the fact that she was _indeed _Kaoru's aunt.

"I told ya ya goddamned men! That woman is sick! She aint available for tonight! That bitch! Destoyin' me business! "

_Sick._

_Not available._

_Not performing._

And so of course, with theses words running all over the red head of his, Himura Kenshin otherwise known as the Hitokiri Battousai found himself naturally climbing his way towards the windowsill where the Bluerose rested, stealthily and cautiously making his path on where she was.

Dropping to the floor with a silent 'thud' he made his way towards her sleeping form, mirroring the frown that was on her face when he felt she had a high temperature. Beads of sweat had already condensed in her forehead and she was moaning in her dreams, as if in silent pain and torment. He didn't know what really happened, never was aware of what was her true ailment, but his heart was already crying out to her, wanting nothing more than she be healed, cured and could join him again.

Resting his palm on a tender cheek. He felt her move and it made his heart beat thunderously against his chest.

Dull feverish blue eyes met concerned frightened amber ones as their gazes locked. Before Kaoru could even mutter a word, he had already slowly descended his lips against her, muffling any coherent words she had on her tongue.

And at once, she was drinking on him, conveying all the emotions she felt that morning. The pain, the longing and the passion, she tried to express on a single fiery kiss.

_And he understood._

"I'm sorry… I… what happened?" he tried to ask, while still out of breath, catching her lips at the same time.

Shaking her head negatively, she kept quiet, just held his hand fastly with hers.

"Tell me… what happened?" he coaxed.

When she bade no reply, he decided to leave it with that, knowing she was still very feverish.

"You better rest…I will.."

Before the man could even finish his sentence, her hand had shot up to grasp his arm, eyes wide and pleading and repeating the similar words she had declared only a night ago.

"Please…stay here… I need… want you to stay… Please…"

He smiled affectionately. Squeezing her hand in reassurance.

"Baka Kaoru… Of course I wouldn't leave you… You never let me finish. I said I would just stay here because it's not best to carry you out in the cold night. I'd just stay and keep watch."

Kaoru then finally released a grateful sigh; happy to be spending the night close to the one she loved. Nestling her head atop his lap, she finally allowed herself to succumb in a peaceful slumber.

Kenshin watched as the woman he loved finally fell asleep, glad that she was in better condition than from the first time he had seen her tonight. With ideas entering his head, he pondered over the thought with how much effect she had on him. Before, he couldn't even consider himself loving or even being loved himself. He never felt cherished and cared. He was only a tool, an instrument for killing, murdering other people's lives for the sake of others.

Not anymore.

Kaoru gave him another chance to live again. To at least _feel _once again. She slowly defrosted his icy benumbed heart with warmth, compassion and humility. She had never been low in his standards. If he considered her something so lowly, then what would he think of himself?

He was surprised with the change inside him. He was never vocal; never showy with his affections, never cared, never loved, and never even appreciated something. But here he was, watching over the person he cherished the most, not wanting anything more than to embrace her and forever seal her as his.

She _was _his. Something in their first meeting made him fully brand her.

Unmistakably, surely and definitely his.

He never once thanked the gods for anything, yet the Hitokiri found himself in gratefulness towards whatever life force that sent her spiraling on his life.

He never felt so much blessed.

Shifting to stroke her cheek while his other hand ran along her hair, he watched intently as her face curved into an upward smile, clearly indicating that she was happy whatever dream she may be having. Sighing in satisfaction, Kenshin sat silent, content of just gazing at her sleeping form and wary of any intruder that may break their peace.

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It must have been a miracle or some stroke of luck when Kaoru woke up that morning, realizing that Kenshin never found out what her true ailment was. The fact that she didn't end up coughing and spewing blood all over the poor man would have been a good stroke of coincidence itself.

But wonderful her morning was, Kaoru didn't fail to notice that her coughing was going a lot like hell and her blood was more on its volume than usual. When Maeba-san saw this, Kaoru was terribly afraid that the woman was going to hit her. After hearing the uproar she herself had created yesterday, Kaoru dared not to disobey whatever orders Maeba-san gave, this serving as her apology for what she had done.

The woman pushed her into hardwork, beating her worn body with duties, tasks and responsibilities until Kaoru could not even stand any longer. The aggravating pain she felt on her chest burnt her throat as she tried to cough up whatever was the thing causing her pain. She would hide the fact that blood was _indeed _coming out from her and assured everyone she was all right.

"Kaoru-san… daijobou desu ka?"

She looked behind finding a fearful Tsubame, hazel eyes wide with concern.

"I'm okay." She assured. "I gue—" She didn't have anytime to finish her sentence when the coughing began once again, but this time, not escaping the observant wide eyes of the teenager of fifteen standing in front of her.

"_Kaoru-san!" _

Alarm over came her when she saw that the girl had witnessed the whole scene. All Kaoru could do was kneel and hold Tsubame's hands desperately, trying to tell the girl everything with a single gesture.

"Please… don't tell anyone… Tsubame-chan… Onegai…"

Although Tsubame had wanted to say something in disagreement, her words were drowned by Maeba-san's booming voice telling Kaoru to hurry up with the chores. Said woman could only gaze sadly before offering the young whore a sad smile and walking away.

_TBC…_

AN: TUT TUT! What's this! Kaoru, sickYou gotta stay to learn what would happen to her! More drama ahead… and of course romance and waff! (YEY! I love waff!)

I told you from the start that Battousai would be a bit different in this fic. Less brutal and more showy of his affections to our dear sweet Kaoru. somebody told me that the story was just going too fast. I'm really really sorry but I wanted the plot to go on faster for there's a lot to include in this fic and if I slowed down the plot… it would get me at least 20 plus chapters to finish… so please bear with me… Anyways, I appreciate your reviews!

I'll try to update as soon as I can!

Don't forget to review!

JA!

Bluerose


	7. Bitterness woven with Sting

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

AN: RK doesn't belong to me!

In this chapter, we'll really find out what kaoru's sickness is.

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The doctor's reception was a bit too narrow for Kaoru as both she and Tsubame waited patiently for the doctor. Maeba had decided to have her checked up to be able to confirm whatever sickness she may be harboring and she had allowed Tsubame to accompany her.

Kaoru was grateful for that.

Both of them wore thick dark michiyukis to conceal their true identities and as Kaoru sat quietly on the hard wooden seat, she couldn't help but wonder.

_What could this be?_

_Is it dangerous?_

_What would happen to me? A whore is meant to fuck, not to stay bed ridden, coughing blood._

Before her scattered thoughts could even more wander away, she heard her name being called and went inside, instructing Tsubame to stay behind, though it added much to the teen's disapproval.

If ever Tsubame had any more doubts of the condition of her friend, all of these were dispelled when she saw Kaoru emerging from the doctor's examination room.

She was deathly pale and visibly shaking, eyes close to tears and she could only run to embrace the poor surprised girl, desperately seeking comfort.

"What happened Kaoru-san? What happened?"

A day has passed since Bluerose had talked to any living soul and Tsubame was starting to worry. The older woman had concealed her sickness, hid her ailment from anyone and refused to talk, eat and yes, even perform. No one, not even her gentle coaxings or Maeba's harshly bitten words could convince the prostitute to appear that night.

Gritting her teeth and walking wordlessly at the flight of stairs, Tsubame promised to have an answer when the night approaches.

The door was surprisingly open and the girl pushed the frame with practiced ease. Her eyes roved to the form huddled in the middle of the room shivering and bundled with a blanket. Nearing her, she heard Kaoru cough once, then twice, then in an altogether throwing fit of blood and phlegm.

Kaoru was having a hard time even to breathe and the heaviness in her chest wouldn't lift. It was only when she felt a soft hand run gently on the thin of her back did she finally feel at ease.

"Kaoru-san…"

Looking up towards the direction of her name, the said woman wasn't surprised to see Tsubame looking worried and concerned. She knew that look. The teenager was going to weasel her way towards a steady answer that Kaoru wasn't so sure she would really like to share. But she was also aware that sooner or later, she would have to give in. After all, Tsubame was the only living soul in the teahouse that really cared for her, treating her as a sister and loving her as one, never caring if both oft them were just as lowly as entertainers of the night.

Nodding her head and speaking, her voice coming off as hoarse and raspy, she said,

"I know you really wanted to know what is happening… (The girl nodded fervently.) Very well, I shall tell you… but I beg of you… Please don't tell anyone else… except when that time comes." She added sadly.

Tsubame shook her head, confused and puzzled. "Kaoru-san… I don't understand you…"

The woman expressed an understanding look in her eyes.

"Tsubame, the doctor said that I have tuberculosis. You've heard that haven't you? "

"But Kaoru-san!"

She raised a hand defensively, trying very hard not to cry. "Just please listen to me.. Don't interrupt…." Again, Tsubame nodded and sank back to her seat. Kaoru continued.

"The virus has been inside me for a long time… but… I never realized it… until now…The doctor has declared that the growing cancer is now clearly on going stage 5. The stage where blood is present. He warned me that… I… I just have another six months to live…"

Within hearing that, Tsubame burst into tears, the whole ordeal so unreal to him. She couldn't believe this, Kaoru, her sister, Bluerose, the star of the teahouse… was just going to die that way? No… she didn't deserve that kind of death… lowly as she was in people's standards, dirty as she was, deep inside she had a good kind heart. Always helping, always supporting. Whenever Maeba hits her, Kaoru would come to her rescue, shielding her from the slaps the old witch threatened to give.

_But now…_

And Kaoru was crying herself, silently, wordlessly, cursing whatever gods decided to bring her fate into an abrupt end. She didn't want to be a prostitute… hell no… But she still wanted to live… yes… in a faraway place with Kenshin.

Kenshin.

She'd only thought of this now.

How was she going to tell him?

Would she be able to tell him?

At that thought, Kaoru rose quickly to her feet; grasping Tsubame's shaking shoulders with cold clammy hands.

"Tsubame… promise me that you won't tell any living soul… Not to Maeba, not to the girls and especially not to him…" She drifted off.

"Him? Who?" Tsubame mouthed off? Forgetting her tears and becoming curious with this' him' person in the Bluerose's life. She knew whores could never share love lives just like a normal female can do. They must forget love for the sake of money and she knew that Maeba made sure her girls stayed pure and abstained from that thing called love. But Kaoru?

The older woman could see the clear look of confusion written in the girl's face.

"He is the famous Hitokiri Battousai…

Upon hearing those words, Tsubame's eyes widened. Lips forming into a big 'o'.

"Battousai? The hitokiri Battousai? You're having an affair with him?"

"Ssshhh!" And Tsubame found her lips pursed with the palm of the woman. "Yes… not exactly… but … oh! You wouldn't understand… just please don't tell him…" She pleaded.

Before she could receive an answer, Tsubame heard her name being called and quickly stood up, intending to leave. But upon on the foot of the door, she turned again, faced Kaoru, her lips forming the words 'I promise.' And then was gone.

It seemed to Kaoru that her worries on battousai's reaction were unfounded. A week had passed and still, she hadn't seen him. Another week _did _pass and she decided that they never shared an affair. Battousai still saw her as a prostitute no matter what lip service he had given her and never took her seriously.

Unfortunately, _she took him_ seriously.

But she did not let that fact control her. Instead, she willed herself to perform, to help… she refused to be bedridden until she died. No she wanted to leave this world with a thought that up to the end, she had never been a pain in the ass. So she danced and sang in the stage. Knowing very well it really has become her life in the short period of existence. She danced with grace she never knew she had before and she even received a good comment from Maeba. It made her wonder if dying people were always like this. But, aside from the fact that she _did _perform, she never allowed herself to bed another man explaining to Maeba that her body was still too weak to accomplish an activity they call sex.

Was it her primary reason? Or she just didn't want to break her promise to Kenshin and herself? That she'd stay pure and let no man… except him… touch her?

Kaoru groaned inwardly. Sillystupidsillystupidsilly voice! She must learn how to forget him. After all, he _had _already forgotten about her. No more reason in trying to believe in him right?

Wrong.

She had seen him one Saturday night as she performed, hidden in the dark edges of the bar. Since then, she had tried to avoid him, hide from him, and never permitted herself to see him, using all kinds of alibis she knew and even switching rooms with Tsubame so he couldn't trace her.

She had been successful in dodging him, til this time…. How long must this act last?

Only for a short time.

To say she was surprised when she heard a gentle thud on her floor would be an understatement. She was surprised, alarmed, panicked, perplexed and puzzled when she saw him. How could he get in when there's only a thin wall in between her window?

"Wha—what are you doing here?"

He didn't reply, just continued to near her and Kaoru found herself backing away until her back reached the hard wall.

She was cornered,

She didn't feel frightened. Of course Kenshin wouldn't hit her. The idea was totally absurd! She only felt panicked because she knew he would question her behavior.

And he did.

Pinning her against the walls, his strong muscled arms well at the both sides of her head, he asked, his face in a dangerous distance form hers.

"Why… why are you doing this to me?"

Again she didn't know what to do… what to say… denial was her best option. Or was it?

"I don't know what you're talking about…" she whispered, not being able to look at him straight in the eye.

"Oh yes you do…" he whispered, his voice dripping with venom and amber eyes ablaze. Kaoru knew that madness would belittle the fury he felt inside. His face, always impassive showed vehemence and wrath and his tone was raged.

"Kenshin… just please leave me alone…" murmured, trying to fight the maelstrom that was building inside her chest. She certainly didn't want to hurt him with the news of her upcoming death. It would leave him a deathblow… it would certainly hurt him.

Or would it?

She knew little about what he felt and uncertainty was a natural thing. They haven't slept together, or even shared a bed so she couldn't reason out that it was purely lust on his part. If it was, then, he'd have marked her as his a long time ago, given the circumstances.

"You did not answer my question." He hissed. "Why are you doing this to me? What is happening to you?"

His voice held an underlying tone of rage and betrayal and Kaoru was shocked with how much an effect she had on him. Had he thought that she didn't love him anymore? Did he ever think that she would abandon him… what they have shared so abruptly? Kenshin deserved the right to know whatever was happening to here… the big question was how? How do you tell a man of your supposed death? Kaoru reasoned that even a genius couldn't answer that.

"Kenshin… I … I don't want to hurt you…" she whispered, head bowing in defeat and tears falling freely from her face.

"BUT YOU ARE!" he almost roared, half scaring her and half saddening her.

"I didn't mean to…I'm sorry…"

With this, his hand flew in the air as a sign of his exasperation. His body drew away from her as he started pacing back and forth in the room, trying unsuccessfully to calm himself and finding himself standing against one far corner of the room. What the _hell _was going on? Intelligent creature as he was; the Hitokiri Battousai could not and never can decipher women's emotions.

"Kaoru would you fucking stop apologizing and instead explain this fucking things? I don't need a goddamned apology… what I need is a fucking reason! And it better be good" he added, curse words completing his slurred speech.

But even with this, Kaoru didn't… couldn't say anything. Her breath was labored as her tears ran freely in her cheeks and her sobs constricting at her throat. _I couldn't tell you… you're hurt so much already… and I don't want to cause you pain… having me is pain enough… but my death?_

His rage was uncontrollable and the man felt the need to hurt everything or even anything save except her. _Damnit Kaoru! Where the hell did I go wrong?_

Seeing the murderous glint in his molten amber eyes, Kaoru knew she had to stop him. Even though he was gentle and loving to her, Kaoru knew that Kenshin still held a demonic and dangerous side. Attacking whoever willed to hurt or even touch him.

In a loud grunt, he pulled his katana in a god-speed motion and in a blink of an eye, her cabinet cracked open and crashed bitterly against the floor in the form of dust awing Kaoru in an instant.

But awed as she was, she knew she had to put a stop on this. The noise would cause a commotion and she was sure Maeba would cause a scene. No thank you. Having Battousai in her room was headache enough. She made a move to run to his form, to try and stop the damage he wanted to instill. To her, he was so distant and yet so near, his presence so far from her arms, the corner of her room where she stayed seeming like lengths of miles to hard to travel. Her eyes tricked her and her mind fogged; yet Kaoru willed herself to stay at her feet and reach him. She wanted to touch him, caress him and tell him how much he loved him but before she could take another step nearer to the man, her mind blurred, her vision spun and everything went black.

_TBC…_

Dodges flying tomatoes Hey hey! Ok, I'm sorry for the way things had turned out for our Kaoru-chan. Tuberculosis is a deadly disease and it still is. I'm sorry but she really has to die… bear with me peepz! Please! Don't worry, I'll make up with mush and lime though. (Now you guys don't get surprised to find KnK doing some 'limey' things even though Kaoru's sick ok? It's all I can do to make up for Kaoru's death.

I hope you continue reading this fic and don't just abandon reading this just because of Kaoru's fate. I swear, there's still so much more to happen… Really! The drama and romance doesn't stop here… there's so much more.. so please continue reading this fic!

Here's a short preview of what's going to happen in the next chappie…

_He was gentle, always holding her, always asking if everything was all right even if the couple knew that each one wasn't so inexperienced in the terms of sex. He even went to leagues as of restraining himself when he felt that she wanted him to wait, so both of them could relish the feeling of rapture. His words were soft, soothing, his movements less wild, less volatile and although his eyes still held the amber shade that promised death to whoever wished to interfere with their little tryst, it wore a soft glow, like a dying ember in a fire. It was his first time to touch her, to hold her even with the given long time of their acquaintance, yet Kaoru was almost certain he knew every part of her body. Where she was sensitive the most, where she wanted to be touched, how she wanted to be touched…_

AN:

OKAY OKAY! Dodges flying buckets I'm so sorry Kaoru has to die within six months… DODGES A TOMATO I'M SORRY! It's all part of this fic you know but trust me… there's a lot more that's going to happen ( and a lot lot more of waff) that's going to be in the story… Please don't just stop reading this fic just because you read that Kaoru can only live up to 6 mo…There's a lot of things that can happen between that period of time yah know… o0: Don't worry… I'll put lots of waff and romance and even a lemon to compensate and if I get a lot of reviews… who knows? Maybe Kaoru could survive after all… it all depends on your reaction guys…But rest assured… this story is going to be a lot waffier!

Don't forget to review… I know we all love Kaoru to be alive! Please bear with me though!

See yah! And don't forget to review!

JA!

Bluerose


	8. Chapter 8: Conflicting Emotions

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

October 21, 2005

AN: I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKK, Whew! I'm soooooo glad exams are finally over! That would mean I could get to update my fics (wink wink) but before we proceed, let me clarify a few things first:

_Hold Me For Tonight _is not a parallel of Moulin Rouge. This story is way way different! Okay, I admit, it has some parts which are the same in the movie but overall, it's really another story.

Somebody was asking why it was always tuberculosis… I'm sorry if it sounds too un-original for you, but I chose tuberculosis as Kaoru's disease because it's so much dramatic (with blood and all) compared to pneumonia which contains less drama (shucks! I loveee tormenting KnK… a bit… , )

So there… It's not a parody of Moulin Rouge okayish? Oh well anyway, on with the fic!

_Previously on chapter 6:_

_Her eyes tricked her and her mind fogged; yet Kaoru willed herself to stay at her feet and reach him. She wanted to touch him, caress him and tell him how much he loved him but before she could take another step nearer to the man, her mind blurred, her vision spun and everything went black._

Chapter 7

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He had seen her form drop limply against the floor. Like a rag doll tossed in the corner by a child throwing a fit. He was thankful though for his god-like speed prevented her from slipping farther into the ground and instead had her body nestled in his arms. With her face this close to his proximity, he had the chance to study her features and he was not at all, prepared nor happy with what he saw.

She was deathly pale. So pale that her face did not even contrast with the insipidness of the moonlight bouncing across the room. And she was _thin. So deathly thin _that it scared the wits out of him. Her lips were cracked as if parched and set to dry. Her hair, usually a mass of inky jet locks, had lost its glossiness and shine and it settled weightlessly against her back. _She is sick…_he rationalized. _Oh Kaoru…Kaoru Koibito… what have you done to yourself?_

As if on cue, life once again began to seep on her form as her blue eyes, now dull and clouded slowly opened.

In Kaoru's point of view, her sight and her world right now was the curtain of red surrounding her and a face, a beautiful face staring worriedly into her own eyes. _Kenshin…_She wanted time to stop. To stop forever and never let them go, trapping both of them in his arms. Wishing her disease would leave her as abruptly as it had entered her body. He wore an expression not of anger but of panic, concern and worry. _Ah... His rage must have abated when he saw me fall...Thank God…_

Kaoru… are you alright?" he asked, panic mixed with relief mixing in his senses.

She made no sound only tilted her head eyes closing as her lips wandered to touch his own. Surprised at her actions, the man did not turn away only answered to her needs. Drinking her as much as she drank of him. How much confused as he was now, he knew Kaoru _needed _him and as much as he wanted an answer to his question, he knew that would be put aside.

The kiss was more than a plaintive expression of love and ardor. No, it was filled with raw need, desire, passion, lust and desperation all mixed up in an emotion that Kaoru could not name and in her whole life as a whore had not yet experienced. Their tongues were battling in a desperate cadence of intense longing and passion, and she felt as if her body was ablaze, burning her soul in an inferno that his touch seemed to fuel more.

But as much as both the two lovers wanted to extend their serious tongue activity, the need for oxygen and the need to breath became all too much and both had to reluctantly pull away. No sooner than they did, Kaoru's face instantly crumpled into a pitiful expression and tears soon began to leak in her eyes. She had once again started in a coughing fit and no matter how hard she tried to expel the phlegm that had caused the burning sensation in her throat she could still feel pain and the throbbing somewhere near her lungs.

Unknown to her, Kenshin had been watching her and as she pulled away from his grasp and covered her mouth, his eyes widened with what he saw.

A horrified look passed on the assassin's face as he stared with almost morbid fascination the deep red liquid coating her palm and running thickly towards her wrist. She had not known that he had been observing her under a fearful frightened eye. It was only after she had stopped and started to breath did he snatched the precious hand and clutched it tightly, looking at her, asking a silent question yet terrified with whatever answers she might give.

Her gaze, once tearful and clouded now held a sad almost regretful look as she whispered:

"You wanted me to answer your question. Why I was doing these things to you? What was happening? Well, here is the answer. This is the reason why I had been avoiding you. Kenshin, I'm sick. Awfully sick… I'm dying…" she bowed her head, soft sobs escaping her throat as she was forced to tell the truth.

For a moment, he was rendered speechless. His brain ceased to work and it was as if he had been frozen in a deathly still position.

_I'm sick…_

_Awfully sick…_

_I'm dying…_

It was a nightmare. He quickly consoled himself. It was just one of his awful dreams during an awful night in which sleep evade him. It was just a dream. A nightmare and he would soon find himself waking up in his arms and the cruel trance would end. It would end yes… it would…

But seeing her in front of him, he knew this was reality. As much as he wanted to pinch himself like crazy or close his eyes tightly, Kenshin knew it was another cruel game the gods were playing against him. _They knew… they knew she was my only weakness… They will take her away from me as retribution for my sins… Oh god… Oh god… oh Kaoru tell me this isn't true… tell me it's just a nightmare…_

Unknown to him he had spoken those words aloud, making her sob harder, face buried in the other palm of her hand.

"Kaoru… Kaoru… tell me this isn't true… you're joking right? I know… this is just a dream… a nightmare… and it would soon end... Oh Kaoru… Kaoru…" and this time, the man known as the Hitokiri Battousai, the feared and known assassin, collapsed to the floor, hands balled into fists, his shoulders shaking as he tried to bite his sobs back into his throat, the sound resulting into a gargled hushed moan. He was murmuring words. Curse words, pleas, anguished words but it seemed as if Kaoru couldn't understand any of them. As if he was talking in a different language. And she was not sure she _wanted to understand him. _All she could do was crawl to his side and envelope him with her frail arms, comforting him and conveying the words she could not say. _You are not alone Kenshin. We both share this pain… the anguish separation will bring us…_

She clung to him as much as he clung to her. Desperately, their tears mingling with one another. Kenshin was having a hard time controlling his sobs and it all the more pained her to see the daunting, fearless, and strong assassin, crumpled in a heap in the floor, trying hard to wrench the sobs out of his system. His reaction almost frightened her. _And here I was thinking it wouldn't affect him…_

Moments passed them by and it had seemed like eternity since both of them had crashed on the floor. Still, they never let go of one another. Afraid to let go, knowing each time, each minute was infinitely precious. Kenshin had already calmed himself, being the man as he was, but Kaoru could tell he was far restraining himself from crying.

Wh—what disease?" he seem to say with much difficulty and garbled voice.

"Tuberculosis…"

This time, Kenshin once again closed his eyes and buried his face in the graceful fall of her hair. _Oh dear gods… I thought you've rewarded me by giving me this angel… why send her then take her away? She's all I have now… And yet… is this the punishment you will to give me?_

He continued to hold her, at the same time doing his best to quiet her fears and stop her sobs.

"Ke-Kenshin… I'm afraid… I'm so very afraid of death…" she whispered, body shaking.

His eyes softened as he clearly held her close. With his profession, death has become a game he had always played with since he was very young. Now, with all his experiences shaping him up to be a jaded man, the thought of death didn't and couldn't scare him.

But it scared _her_. And so he would try his best to offer any consolation that would calm her.

"Sssshh… Don't cry koi… don't cry… Don't be afraid… Don't be… I'm here… I promised to protect you?Ne?"

She nodded and continued to hold his gi in tightly clasped hands.

Oh the irony of things! Kenshin felt bitter angry and frustrated. True to his words, he had promised to protect her from any harm that might be possible and yet… here she was, dying with a disease he would not have known hadn't she supplied enough evidence in his eyes.

"Kaoru… Oh Kaoru… why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his hand desperately sweeping on her face to rest on her cheeks.

"Because… because I thought you didn't love me…for two weeks you have gone and I convinced myself that what we shared was nothing… and that I should get over you for I am a whore and a nobody could fall in love with a whore."

For a moment, he was once again rendered speechless. His amber eyes dilating and constricting and his face showing a variety of emotions that Kaoru became a bit frightened with how he would react.

His lips were hard against hers. This was far more desperate, harder and painful. He crushed his lips against hers in a torrid motion, pinning her form in the floor underneath his strong built. Kaoru whimpered, both pained and ecstatic. His teeth bit her lip and his tongue roved around the hidden recesses of her mouth. Again, she whimpered in pain. She felt that he was dispensing punishment for what she had thought about.

"Kaoru," he said in between deep pants of breath. "That's all bullshit… I love you! Insanely so! And I would do anything… even kill a soul just to have you and to protect you. I love you and forget about your damned words!"

He once again crushed her lips against his, drinking her and lapping her like water for a man stranded in the sea for weeks. She whimpered, trying hard to tell him she was hurting. But when Kaoru felt his hands roam anywhere, everywhere in her thin small body, her whispers turned into shushed moan as she felt a strange sensation running up and down her spine. Although his lips never left hers, his hands moved to touch every single part of her body, relishing the touch of her under his digits, marveling how soft and smooth her skin was. Looking at her straight in the eye, he asked an unvoiced question.

Kaoru was surprised with his action and her reaction. Never in once in her life had someone asked her permission to undress her or not. No one _except Kenshin. _And her reaction was quite unexpected, so to speak. She was a whore, used to sex, jaded with this kind of playing field. And yet here she was, feeling shy, nervous and a hell lot of emotions filtering the dark corners of her heart. But still, she nodded, urging him to go on, while her tongue sought to battle against his.

With her permission, Kenshin slowly began to untie the belt in her yukata and slip the nimble fabric past her shoulders. He felt her tremble beneath her touch and he realized she was just as nervous as he was. She was much more experienced than he was. Of course he had slept with some whores in Kyoto but the times never left the counting on his five fingered hands.

Her clothing was just above her waist, baring her state of undress underneath and Kenshin couldn't help but worship her perfectly sculpted body. From the outside, her kimono flattened her breasts, making it small and undersized for the eye. But beneath it, when all the clothes had gone, he could well see the ample, voluptuous form that flattered her chest.

If the two lovers had not been long lost to the pure ecstasy of bliss, both would have been given the chance to feel the irony of things that surrounded them. It was a probably stupid thing to do for his part to ravish her right there and then given her delicate condition and it might have been a bit too careless for her part to allow both her mind and her body to be carried away by the high libido of bliss. She was sick, she was dying yet here she was, making love to the man she cherished the most. It was his first night to bed her, first night for his skin to glide against hers, their joining anew. Yet even as they both knew this, it was as if they had known one another for the longest time. The feeling mutual and indifferent.

In the night, Kaoru realized, when Battousai was deep in the process of pleasuring her, she noticed the change of side in the man. He was never brash and uncouth through out the whole evening. He was gentle, always holding her, always asking if everything was all right even if the couple knew that each one wasn't so inexperienced in the terms of sex. He even went to leagues as of restraining himself when he felt that she wanted him to wait, so both of them could relish the feeling of rapture. His words were soft, soothing, his movements less wild, less volatile and although his eyes still held the amber shade that promised death to whoever wished to interfere with their little tryst, it wore a soft glow, like a dying ember in a fire. It was his first time to touch her, to hold her even with the given long time of their acquaintance, yet Kaoru was almost certain he knew every part of her body. Where she was sensitive the most, where she wanted to be touched, how she wanted to be touched…

The night held so many twists of events for the both of them; Kenshin rationalized after she had fallen into a deep tired sleep. It was the night when she told him everything about her illness. The fact that he was still terrified and will always be terrified about the idea did not escape from his attention. But yet, it was also the night when their bodies first joined, how hot skin glided into searing hot sensitive flesh. How moans and grunts reverberated in the whole four corners of the dark room. It was his first time to touch her, see the pleading look of gratification she held in her eyes that Kenshin knew he was the first and only one allowed to see. It had been like a kind of distraction for his worries and anxieties.

He didn't know what to think anymore.

Or more precisely how to _feel._

He shouldn't become quite ecstatic with the night's events for she had _indeed _confessed her growing disease.

He shouldn't become quite distressed with the night's events for they had _indeed _shared their bodies with one another.

Oh Kami-sama, what the hell should he do?

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The moon still shone high above the Kyoto skies as one of the forms buried under the thick blanket slowly began to move.

Lapis lazuli eyes lazily opened to gaze directly across a handsome face that once again took her breath away.

_Wow… think about a good waking up…_ she thought.

The position gave her the chance to study his features carefully. The beautiful almost seducing way his ember colored hair that seems to call her. His perfectly sculpted nose, his eyes, still closed with the weight of sleep and his scar that served to even perfect his looks rather than to mar it.

_He's beautiful…_

A pale hand slowly crept to stroke the gentle fall of his hair, eyes intent on watching him sleep. For a while, she had been distracted, her mind tuned away from her disease. But now, now that everything had once again settled; where she was the only living soul awake, memories seem to come and chase her off again.

Kaoru held a bittersweet smile as she tried to fight off the tears that were storming inside her chest. This man… this particular red haired handsome man, who had become her salvation, was too much to give up. The pain of losing him weighted more than having to think of leaving this world. Had it not been for his presence, she thought, she would have thanked the gods for allowing her to escape to a world where pain and filth never exist. Where morality, ethics and values were once again restored.

But he had entered her forsaken world and her life had begun to change since then.

She was too absorbed by her own thoughts that she did not realize the object of her scrutiny moving until she felt his palm gently encompass her wrist.

"Kaoru…"

It was enough. Her name was enough to have her head whip automatically towards him, lips unconsciously widening and proving as an early temptation for him. But although this came as a diversion, it wasn't able to distract him from noticing the pained smile she had on her lips.

"Kaoru… what's the matter…" he whispered gently, amber eyes worried and anxious.

She smiled, merely shook her head and pause to lay her head atop his chest to listen to his beating heart.

"Kaoru… Kaoru… what's the matter?" his voice was becoming a bit urgent, alarmed at her lack of attention.

She smiled, tears filling her glassy eyes, face holding a far away look. It seemed to him that she was in a half conscious half dreaming state. Her eyes were blank and wide, attention not directed on him but _to _him.

"Kaoru… please tell me..wha-"

"I'll… miss… you…"

He was cut off in mid sentence and yet he was caught off guard with the way her voice sounded. So faraway… so serene… as if every word was foreign. Her face was serene… her smile no longer bittersweet but _sad. _There's a big difference between those two emotions and he knew that. She was not looking at him, she was just listening to his heart and he wrapped two strong arms around her form to assure himself… herself of his presence.

"Kaoru… please don't say that… Don't say you're going to miss me… it's not as bad as you think we.. I ... we..."

"Hush love…" she interrupted, a pale graceful finger touching his dry lips. " I know what's going to happen... And I'm prepared for it… I _want _to prepare for it…" she added, face full of innocence and soft determination.

"But Kaoru…"

"No." she said a bit strongly, mindset very determined not to cry. "This is my fate Kenshin… our fate. To be parted from one another. This should have never been formed. These feelings we share. We both know I am not allowed to feel…It's against the very ethics of my job… but I did and I think this is just the right payment for it." She whispered, her voice faltering at the last part of her sentence.

"_NEVER!" _he almost roared. Bolting upright and almost throwing her off balance. "Don't say that Kaoru. _Don't say that. _Everyone is allowed to feel… you taught me that… how could you go against your word?" he asked, face looking desperate, a bit maddened and confused.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, sitting beside him, not minding to cover her body with at least a blanket. "I'm sorry if I said that… I shouldn't have made you believe…" she trailed off.

He shook his head, refusing to give in with her words. For once in his life, Battousai was sure about one thing. He was sure that he wasn't talking rubbish. He was sure his point was correct. He would just have to drive it through. _And hell I would._

"Kaoru-love… don't say that… no… you won't die… I won't allow that… ever... You're all that I have… You're everything I have… I just can't bear the fact of sitting here and just watching you die… no…. no… never!"

He was at the point of desperation. Kaoru knew, for she felt it in his words, in his tone. But what could she do? The disease was not a matter to be ignored. The cancer was growing inside, eating her lungs… yes, sooner or later…

"Don't think of that." He murmured, as if reading her mind. Closing his eyes and holding her form tightly next to his, he whispered, eyes full of fear and anxiety

"Just trust me Kaoru…. I'll find someone… someone who could save you… even if it means going to another land by the name of the devil, I _swear _I'm going to find someone… just don't… _die…" _he fervently said, his forehead touching hers and his lips settling between her plush ones.

Kaoru was vaguely aware of the cascading tears that ran on her face. How she loved this man! She felt touched with his effort, with his promise to save her life even if it did after all appeal impossible for her ears. Still, she had faith in him and she wished for nothing more than to share the remaining time of her life with him, the man she loved most.

_TBC…_

AN: Aww… (sobs) TT… that was soooo sad… pure drama I daresay… I did not create a pure lemon for this one…just a slight hint… If I can, maybe I could post the lemon in but anyways… this one's so sad but may I repeat that this fic is not a parody of MOULIN ROUGE… it may seem alike but there so many other things that would be happening in this fic of mine so please, don't judge this one so easily… just wait for the updates that would soon be coming,

Don't forget to review!

Ja,

Bluerose


	9. Chapter 9: Unfolding of a Plan

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

October 29, 2005

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AN: I don't have much to say (partly because I'm so practically tired right now and partly because I know I don't need to babble on) Oh well, the slight lemony um… limey…citrusy… part on the last chappie… I hope it didn't sound so corny… ugh… Gomen…

Anyways, don't forget to review!

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Kaoru was most definitely glad she already had him in her life when she discovered that she was very ill. He has always been there for her. Every night, coming inside her room, sharing the night with her. As such, it did not mean they had sex, for both of them knew she was too weak for such an intricate task. Yet, the mere fact of his presence was a sign of reassurance itself.

Things too had also begun to change in the Red Dragon Teahouse. In the course of her absence, Maeba had found a substitute for the Bluerose and after a few nights of entertaining and pleasuring, the name Bluerose was thrown off into the farthest corner of the house. A whore who can never have sex is useless according to the old woman. But Kaoru never got the chance to wallow in sorrow and self-pity for Maeba pushed her further and harder into chores. Determined not to waste her precious money in another mouth to feed, she had decided that Kaoru work twice harder for her to earn her keep. It was all right. She could still do it. _Probably. _But still, she wished the woman would not be so hard on her.

Days seem to filter her mind in an almost hazy motion. Back then; there was no known cure for tuberculosis in Japan. Either you waited for it, or you died. Kaoru knew that she wasn't getting better or worst yet, _going _better. She was afraid the disease would cause complications in her body to arise. One night, she talked about this to the swordsman when he had settled once again beside her, nestling her between the warm comforts of his protective embrace.

"I don't like this…" she started.

He looked at her innocently, surprised about the topic she had opened. Since the start, they had decided to avoid the topic of death, of anything that would make her sad or depressed. No, Kenshin would not have that. He would rather make her smile during her last days on Earth.

"What is it that you don't like love?"

She smiled at his innocence, glad that the savageness he always carried in his voice somewhat gone. Ever since they had begun a relationship, Kenshin was no longer the Hitokiri Battousai in her eyes. He still killed, carried out his orders, but gone was the attitude, the brute force, the insolence and impertinence in his aura. His personality had toned down into a much gentler persona and Kaoru was darned glad about that.

"This feeling I have… this helplessness I feel. I don't want to lie here on a futon and wait for death to knock on my door for the rest of my days… I don't want that. I hate that…." She whispered, eyes becoming sad and holding a faraway look.

He did not speak, only held a thoughtful look on his handsome face. He knew that feeling. It was the same as just making him watch while his comrades took off for battle. He knew her and the wild spirit that soared inside her. She didn't deserve to be cooped up here, inside a room, inside a body that threatened to take her away from him. No that would not be.

But what was the rightful thing to do?

His mind supplied no answer, no response to his query. Not until he held her dozing form, watching her lips breathe did he finally realize what was supposed to be done long ago.

"Kaoru. Kaoru."

He shook her wide-awake, voice thick with urgency and excitement. He already knew the answer and he wanted to have her approval. He hated having to wake her, but she needed to get ready.

"Kenshin…" she sleepy mumbled, a bit irritated by the slight disturbance. "What is it?"

"I'm taking you with me." He said no explanations, no other words et al.

"You're what!" she exclaimed, eyes as big as saucer cups.

"I'm taking you home with me." He blankly said.

"Excuse me, but are you out of your mind?" she asked disbelievingly, wondering if she was just making up things.

"I am not. I'm going to take you to my house love. Where you will be properly taken care of. I hate the fact that I only get to see your condition during the dark of the night." He admitted as a matter-of-factly.

"But," she started, "How about Maeba-san? What would happen? To the teahouse?"

He shook his head in defiance.

"It was you who told me that they don't need you anymore. They've found another. So I'm rather hoping that they wouldn't notice you're gone."

"But what if not?" she asked

"Then to hell with them." He muttered coolly.

Kaoru gasped, unable to believe what was happening. Inwardly, she wanted to scream and shout, run wild with happiness and euphoria. She knew that he would take care of her, more than anyone else in the world.

He seemed to take her silence as her negativity to the situation, so he was quick to add,

"Kaoru, all you have to do is trust me. Do you trust me?"

"Of course." she replied as if his question was most stupid.

"Good. I won't allow anyone to hurt you. I will protect you, I swear. Just trust me."

She nodded and as if to harden her decision, she added.

"When do we leave?"

His response was short, and unruffled.

"Tomorrow night. We leave tomorrow night."

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_Tsubame-chan._

_I am quite sure that I'd be gone by the time you have started reading this letter. I won't tell where I am or whom I am with (Although I know that you are already aware of this person I am talking about) lest this small piece of paper falls on wrong hands. _

_I am safe Tsubame. No need to worry about. I know that somebody has already taken my position in the teahouse and Maeba would not be twice mad. As for my ailment, I don't know if I could make it. If I should, then I'll never forget to visit you. But if I don't survive this, then you know I died happy and free of the ethics of prostitution constricting my soul. _

_Take care of yourself Tsubame. I will not be there to protect you anymore. You have to learn to stand up and face the world yourself with your own two feet upright. That's the most important thing that you have to understand. I hope someday we could meet again. In a place where both you and I are free and at peace. Don't let your job ruin you. It's not your profession that becomes the scale of the limpidness of your soul. Remember that Tsubame and be well._

_Your loving oneechan,_

_Kaoru_

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Kamiya Kaoru would have might as well guessed that the Hitokiri Battousai had a home so far from the very outskirts of Kyoto. It was nestled in the woods, hidden and obscured by thick branches of leaves that one would have to be hard pressed to see that it concealed a house. But if she had anything to say about the distance, the sight of it made all her inhibitions vanish.

It was beautiful, so neat and peaceful that it was hard to believe it belonged to such a notorious assassin like him. It was big, with a wide garden and a big well outside. It reflected a peaceful aura and as she entered the house, she could not help but release a gasp.

It was big. Much bigger from the outside. Plush big zabuttons occupied the spacious tatami floor mats and the whitewashed walls held frames of Japanese art.

"Wow…"

He chuckled with her lack of words as he watched her look with fascination and curiosity the paintings that hung on his wall.

"Do you like it?" he asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"Are you kidding me? I love it Kenshin. Seriously, I'm starting to believe you're already sharing this house with someone." She joked.

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

She laughed the sound ringing like bells in his ears.

"It's so neat, so spacious and decorated. It's hard to find that qualities in a man like you. It's like a woman lives here!" she exclaimed while touching the wide marble slab of a low table.

He scratched his head, face looking rather sheepishly.

"It's so big…" she murmured.

Glad at her approval, he neared her, wrapped his arms around her slender waist and whispered in her ear.

"You know what; I've always promised myself that I would only bring one person inside my house aside from myself."

"Hmm? Why is that so?" she asked softly.

"It's because, when I bring a person here inside my house, that would only mean that she is the one I love most and the only one person I would want to spend the rest of my life with." He murmured.

To say she was speechless would belittle the feelings she had. She was touched, compelled by his actions and words that she could not control the tears that constricted her throat.

"Kaoru… why do you cry?" he asked, a bit alarmed by her reaction.

She shook her head, giving a choked smile and embracing his form.

"Nothing… it's just that… I'm so happy…" she murmured, body shivering with happiness.

He smiled; a genuine one as he held her trembling form tightly. Truly, he had remained steadfast to his words. He would only bring one person in his home, the one he would love most.

_TBC…_

AN: Ok guys… I hope I don't get multiple violent reactions regarding Kenshin's house (sweatdrops) We all know Kenshin's a neat freak so I decided to incorporate it here in this fic… and well, that's the way the story goes… so I really didn't have any choice about it. Hope you can imagine his house… Oh what am I saying! I'm just blabbering! 0o

Geez… on with the nxt chapter!

Don't forget to review!

Ja!

Bluerose


	10. Chapter 10: Ripple in Calm Waters

Fanfic by blueroseulan

November 4, 2005

AN: Standard Disclaimer's Apply! RK doesn't belong to me…

Hi guys! Well here I am! Another update… and I tell you, you're in for a very very very big surprise in this one… For you to find out, read on!

Oh and BTW, I'd like to ask you to please read and review the songfic/oneshot I just mad. It's titled 'Collide'. A song sung by Howie Day… Please don't forget to review that one… it would inspire me to do more oneshots… .

I'll stop my blabbering and let you read the small twist of events I've instilled in this chappie…

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Kaoru was sure, the treatment she received from Kenshin was better than the pampering the empress had in the royal palace. She was his priority; his attention was all hers, his body, and his spirit. Everything. It even came to the point when it was sometimes annoying her the way he hovered around about. But soon, she grew used to it, even if she would tell him to stop babying her every night when they lay on their futon. She was happy, he was happy and even her sickness seem to deter when she was with him.

_Or that was she thought so…_

It had been a week since they started living together. Everything was perfect, like a picture untouched, except for a few occurrences that had been on her mind.

_Once, she recalled, as she was following him towards the garden, intending to find out his most bragged about rose bush, she had to stop, her vision blurring, as his form became a violent swirl of colors. She had rubbed her eyes and massaged her head until everything had become normal again. She had disregarded that incident since then._

_Another was when they were both in the kitchen, with him teaching her how to cook a decent meal. He was instructing her how to position the blade of the knife and he was holding her hand, when abruptly, he vision began to blur and the counter became a swirl of red, orange, and gray colors. Dropping her knife, she swayed and almost lost her balance had it not been for his arms that firmed her into place. _

"_Kaoru… Kaoru.. What's happening? Are you alright?" he asked, voice full of worry._

_It took some time before the colors had begun to set back on its own original hues. She had dismissed him, eyes trying hard to smile and distract his sudden tension. _

Those were only a few of the dozen times her sight failed her. She didn't know what to do and she kept it to herself. The knowledge of her death was enough burden for him, and she certainly didn't want to place another heavy load on his mind.

But then again, Kaoru should have known, long long ago, that secrets could never be kept for long.

They were out that morning, exploring the forest and Kenshin had shown her a running brook not so far from the house. It was wonderful in her eyes. Periwinkle and colored lilacs bloomed instead of ugly reeds in the marsh. It almost seemed like a picture sent straight from heaven. The way the water shone and how butterflies fluttered about, living by means of the sweet nectar produced by the wild blooms.

The water was low, reaching only a bit higher above her dainty ankles. Kenshin had invited her to wade in the fresh liquid, to cool down the temperature where she readily agreed.

It was one of the best moments in her life. A picture perfect moment. Forgetting about her sickness and her problems, Kaoru felt like a little girl once more, where she would splash in the water with her papa. Only this time, she was with him… the man she had learned to love the most.

His heart felt like bursting when he saw her smile. That was enough. To see her smile and laugh inspite of what she has been going through was enough for him to feel happy. Whenever she was glad, he felt twice glad. When she felt contented, he was twice contented. It was there and then in that moment did Himura Kenshin realize how happy and fulfilling life can be. When you're with the person you love the most, all the negative odds that are against you would vanish.

They were about to head home, both still in high spirits with the earlier play they had. He smiled and laughed, enjoying the moment and ran ahead of her, encouraging her to catch up. She did so, as peals of laughter escaped her lips, steps quite slower from his. She had been proven tired with their play and she wanted to get home. Stopping suddenly to gasp for breath, Kaoru suddenly felt queasy, her vision becoming cloudy, she became alarmed with the almost invisible smoke that filtered her mind. Squinting her eyes in hopes to catch sight of his form, the colors around her began to dance, as if a cruel man had decided to spill his cans of paint in her mind. The colors wheezed around her until suddenly they became very still and swallowed her whole.

Everything became black.

Kenshin was starting to slow down knowing she can't very well catch up with him, when he suddenly felt alone, her ki suddenly snuffed out. Jerking his whole body back, he stiffened to see her fallen form in the ground. His mind went completely blank for a moment, before he ran towards her, carrying her towards the cottage with god like speed. Settling her on the futon, he felt her forehead and felt a raging fever. Inwardly he cursed himself knowing it was his stupidity that had caused her fever.

_I should have known she was too weak to go out._

_This idea was absurd! She's too frail! Stupid!_

These words kept reeling and reeling over his mid as he moved around to get the various medicines he had in store and boiled water. After he had been done with these, he settled himself beside her and watched her settle in an uncomfortable sleep.

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The first thing that registered on her mind was the wooden ceiling that was well over her head. Although it was kind of vague, she was sure it was the ceiling and that she was inside the room. What was peculiar though was that everything was hazy, everything was unclear. She couldn't quite depict the color of the yukata she wore or the color of her blanket. She could see the outlines of their shapes though, but they were never clear.

As if on cue, a figure entered the room. The fear of not knowing who it was gripped her senses.

"Who's there?" she asked, trying hard to strengthen her voice.

The figure seemed taken aback with her question and it was as if her vision only dimmed darker.

"I said whose there?" she asked, voice more alarmed.

The person began to near her, making her all the more terrified.

"Please… I can't see you… who are you?" she asked as she squinted her eyes in a futile effort to know the intruder in her room.

"Kaoru."

It was him. Kaoru breathed in a sigh of relief.

"Kenshin? Is that you? Thank God you're here…" she murmured. "Where are you? I can't see you…" she whispered, head turning from one side to another as she tried to search for him.

She could make out an outline of a form hovering above her, but she was unsure of what it was. Her thoughts were muddled and her sight so cloudy.

"Kenshin? Where are you? Kenshin?" she cried out, alarmed that she could still not see him. Reaching out a hand, she tried to search for him while her eyes seemed to provide darkness.

The said man looked pained as he watched his woman deftly search for him while he was in fact kneeling face to face with her. Although he was first confused on her peculiar notions, he had slowly begun to piece information by information in his mind. There and then a hard and painful realization hit him.

_She has gone blind…_

Although his mind was in a state of denial, a lump had already latched itself on his throat. Yet, he willed himself not to cry as he gently reached for her form and pulled her closer to him. His voice was soft, a gentle caress to her soul.

"Kaoru… love… I'm here… don't be afraid… I'm here… I will protect you…" he whispered in her ear.

She turned for the direction of his voice and her hands slowly crept towards his face.

"Kenshin… is that really you? Why can't I see you? I can't see you anata… where are you?' she said, voice starting to sound alarmed.

He tried to soothe her, careful not to frighten her.

"Kenshin!" she was becoming frantic by now. "I can't see you! I can't see you at all! Where are you Kenshin!" she cried as tears began to seep out of her dull blue eyes.

"I'm here love. I'm here." He reassured her. His tone an opposite match against her panicked one.

Though she could feel him, touch him with her nimble fingers, Kaoru was terrified with the thought that she couldn't see at all.

"Kenshin… what's happening to me! I want to know what's happening to me! Why can't I see? Why cant I!"

She was thrashing about now. Struggling against his grasp, her fear getting the best of her. Her face was deathly pale and her hair was strewn all over the floor. He tried to pacify her, soothe her and calm her while he thought of the next most logical thing to do. He was also scared and confused. He also wanted to know why… what had happened, and a thought occurred in him.

"I'm going to take you to the doctor." He promised.

A few more moments of struggle, Kaoru had finally calmed down in his hold, providing him with the opportunity to hoist her up in his arms, and exit the room. Grabbing a thick michiyuki at the cabinet, he trudged away from their home, fully intending to arrive at the doctor's office before sunset.

He was awfully glad that she had been awake upon arriving at the doctor's office. He wouldn't have known what to do if he was the one tasked to bring about such cursed news.

The physician had proved his suspicions correct. Kaoru's tuberculosis had proven fatal for her and it had lowered her immune system to the point where microorganisms can attack her body easily.

"She is at the state where her body is most susceptible to foreign pathogens right now. One most fatal is the bacteria that had started eating its way towards her eyes and into her cornea. I could see from my examinations that her cornea had long been damaged by this organism. I doubt if she never had any warning signs." Looking at her he asked, "Honestly Kamiya-san, did you ever experience having a blurred vision before you collapsed?"

Her answer frightened him as well as shocked him.

"Yes. In fact a couple of times." She admitted, bowing her head in shame.

"Oh well… you should have consulted a doctor earlier. Though I doubt if your eyesight could have been saved. You have such a rare complicated case that we have no medical knowledge about the treatment of your disease."

"What are you trying to say?" he asked, voice higher than the supposed tone, scaring the doctor.

"You mean to say that I'm going to be blind?" she asked in such a small weak voice that made the assassin scared.

When the doctor nodded, felt her knees become loose, making her stagger behind only to lean on his muscular chest. The man felt weakened himself as his mind slowly processed the doctor's words.

_It's hopeless…_

_But still…_

The journey back to the cottage was silent, with Kenshin insisting on carrying her much to her guilt. In Kaoru's point of view, she felt guilty knowing that she would become more of a burden for him now provided with the circumstances. She could only bury her head in the crook of his neck while she tried to stop the tears from seeping in her eyes. But it was such a task so hard and she couldn't stop the maelstrom of tears forcing their way out as she choked a sob one after the other.

A look of genuine concern crossed his face as he tried to ask what was wrong.

_Everything is wrong…_

At first he couldn't start to understand her words, but slowly, he began to comprehend the blur of words that were tumbling from her mouth.

"I'm so sorry… so so sorry… for being a burden… for destroying your life… I'm sorry Kenshin for not being able to provide you the dreams you wish you had… I..."

He was stunned with her words. _Oh my dear sweet Kaoru… why do you think of yourself that way?_

"Kaoru… please… please don't say that… please don't… You will never… ever become a burden for me." He choked, trying not to cry. "You've always been what I've wanted. I don't care what happens… I don't… all I know is that I'll never stop loving you… never… never Kaoru…never!" he bit out, tears running down his face, his hold on her tight and shaking.

She wept then, in his gi openly. Both thankful and needing for his reassurance. Before they left from the doctor's office, Kaoru was sure; she'd die alone in anxiety in pain. But now, having heard his words, Kaoru wasn't so sure she wanted her death to become what she thought. Knowing that the former assassin stayed on her side made things easier to bear for her.

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For someone who had never experienced being blind for the past twenty years, Kaoru was sure having a hard time adjusting to the bleak darkness that surrounded her world. No longer was she allowed to see the wonderful colors that danced around her, nor see the face of the man she lived with. Of course, Kenshin proved to be such a great help. He was now in charge—much to Kaoru's chagrin- of almost about everything. To her food, to their room, to the cleaning, washing her clothes, teaching her how to eat without spilling her food and so many things more that she couldn't help but feel an overwhelming guilt inside.

One night, as she lay on his lap, waiting patiently for him to finish combing the tangled locks, she couldn't hide the heavy feeling any longer and she slowly began to cry.

Setting the comb down in alarm, he gently asked whatever was wrong. And in between heavy sobs, he had managed to understand her words.

"I feel so guilty anata… Guilty for being such a burden. I hate to become a heavy load for you. You don't deserve this… this kind of life with me… You should be free… as your spirit desires… Not caged in this living _hell _with me…. "

Inwardly, he had wanted to berate Kaoru for ever thinking of those wretched thoughts. Inwardly, he wanted to yell at her for saying those harsh words about herself…. But he knew about her fears… and he tried to picture his own world as a dull black, never being given the chance to see her beautiful face and breath taking smile and he realized—it must have been really very hard for her.

"Kaoru…" He started, voice low and soft," I've told you before… You are never and will never become a burden for me… I chose to love you… It wasn't your fault that I fell in love with you… that you are cursed with tuberculosis. It has never been your fault… And these things I do? It's really nothing compared to the suffering that you are undergoing… all I want to do is to relieve you of the pain… because if I were the one who have gone blind… I would not know what to do… how to live without seeing you… That makes me love you so much more… The way I see you struggling to get up and live each day with me by my side… do you not think that's enough for me? The only thing that you did wrong was not to tell me about the onset of your blindness… I think... if you had told me, then I could have made your suffering so much lighter, giving you the assurance that you're not alone."

His speech totally touched her. And even if her world was painted black, she could tell the deep compassion his face held; the way his mouth twitched and his eyes glowed soft amber. She realized that her blindness did not present itself as an obstacle for seeing his face, for she knew it, each line, each scar, and it was as if she was still looking at him straight in the eye.

"Kenshin..." she softly called," I'm sorry… for having said those words… At least I should have thanked you ne? Well… I think you really know it… how I'm really thankful having you in my life…" she smiled, Even if her eyes remained dull and listless. "I'll try my best… to still help... it would keep me busy and happy… "She added, smile widening.

He grinned slightly, glad that her perspective had been totally reversed. Now, his Kaoru was on the right track again, her spirit slowly being rekindled. And he was proud for that fact, that his Kaoru was certainly a fighter and not a weak one.

He suddenly felt soft frail hands crawling slowly towards his face. Looking at her in surprise, he asked why she was doing such an action.

"That's easy." She casually said. "When my eyes no longer remember how you look, my hands will guide me to you."

He could just smile and try to choke back his tears. _When had I been so emotional?_ He asked himself. But he didn't mind crying in front of her. As long as she loved him, he knew Kaoru would understand.

_And she did. _

AN:

OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! CAN U STOP HURTING ME NOW? OUCH! THAT FLYING BUCKET HURTS! OWW! (fanits then recovers)

I know you guys are so like madd and totally confused with what's happened to kaoru. I know I know… please, don't push that review button Just YET… please… let me explain.. okay?

I'm no medical wheez or something. In fact, I flunked by Biology exam when it came to the human anatomy. But I just thought, well, since my teacher was always saying, if you have TB then you're more susceptible to pathogenic microorganisms and blah blah. Well, I thought it would instill more drama if I allow Kaoru to be blind. I know you guys are scratching that ehad of yours with confusion like, what's the connection with TB and blindness! Believe me, I wanted to make this fic as close to reality as possible but hey, it's STILL a fic. So anything can happen ne?

I hope I don't get multiple flames for this. Your reviews are so wonderful so far, I'd hate it if you guys pound me over again and again with what I did to our dear Kaoru-chan. --- At least she still has Kenshin ne? I just wish you guys still appreciate my effort sighs and walks dejectedly away with head bowed down

I wish you'd still review…wipes tears from anime teary eyes

Bluerose


	11. Chapter 11:Overcoming Obstacles

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

November 12, 2005

Standard Disclaimers Apply! Rk doesn't belong to me!

AN: Hey guys! Another chappie! I won't rant on, but I will remind you to leave a review though! ;)

Please review!

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It was true for the fact that when one of the senses is dulled, another one is sharpened. Whilst Kaoru's eyesight truly faded away, her sense of hearing had sharpened to the point where it was almost as good as Kenshin's. She had also slowly learned how to move around the house through touching the walls and feeling the textures of the objects around her. Kaoru was glad that slowly, bit-by-bit, she was starting to once again live without fully depending on him.

On one occasion, Kenshin had secretly gone to town after Kaoru had slightly dozed off one afternoon. Reaching home in time to watch her wake, he handed her one parcel during dinnertime.

"What's this?" she asked softly.

"Guess."

"Hmm… let's see." She said, brows knitting in mocked concentration. "It's lumpy. And it's soft. Kenshin, what is this?"

He was adamant, much to her annoyance and excitement. "Why don't you open it?"

"Mou! Fine. I'll open it then. You sure it won't bite?" she joked

"Of course not. "

Slowly, she began to unravel the brown wrappings that covered the item. Eyes slowly widening as a spark of realization hit her.

"Kenshin… it's a.."

"A kimono." He finished.

"Yes…"she whispered, long fingers running on the soft cloth. "It's made of silk…" she murmured.

Though surprised with how she knew it was silk, he neared her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Do you like it?" he breathed in her ear.

His breath seemed to tingle along her spine as she nodded her head fervently. "Are you kidding me? I love it! Tell me… why did you buy me this Kenshin?"

He shook his head. _It's not yet time to tell her,_ he rationalized.

"You'll know when the time comes…"

"Could you describe it for me?" she asked, eyes wide.

A flash of pain crossed his features along with the thought that she was indeed asking him to tell her how her own kimono looks like. But he quickly dismissed the fact, reminded himself that she was becoming better and more optimistic with her blindness.

"Well you see… er—um… it's got the color of lilac…"

"Lilac? That's my favorite!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands. He nodded, glad that she was happy and continued. "It's also got a mix of midnight blue. Um… I'm really not good at this love…" he trailed off.

"Never mind! Go on…" she gushed, excitement evident in her tone.

"Um… eto-- It blends pretty well with the lilac hue. And hmmm… let's see… there are printed sakura blossoms all over the dress, and the sleeves are voluminous, not slim fitting to the arm. The obi... Let's see… it's bluish-transparent… with gold trimmings with it and a few printed lilacs dusted in pink. There. That's how your kimono looks like." He added, a wide smile spreading at his face.

A graceful smile lit her face as she deftly reached out for his arm. "At first, I thought going blind was the worst thing that could ever happen to me… but now I know, I could still see perfectly and clearly when you're with me! Thank you Kenshin… for the gift... And of course for everything…." She beamed. Her head somewhat ending up burying at the crook of his neck.

"It's nothing koi… demo Kaoru?"

"Hmm?"

"All I ask is for you to wear that tomorrow at sunset."

A look of curiosity crossed her face. "Why?"

Impishly, he grinned. "You'll see. Just wait love."

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The next afternoon, Kenshin had hastily excused himself after lunch telling her that he had an urgent business to take care in town. "Don't forget to wear your kimono!" he called out in the porch.

"I will!" she shouted back, waving her hand.

And so, the next couple of hours were spent in front of her mirror while Kaoru fixed herself. Wondering what the man was up to, she thought that Kenshin was a man, which held plenty of surprises. To say she was excited would be an understatement, for Kaoru felt nervous, tensed and all emotions of the like. For him to buy her such an extravagant kimono, surely, he was definitely up to something.

It was a good thing that after all of those years, Kaoru had been so much experienced tying an obi elegantly around her waist even without the use of her sight. Expertly handling the obi, she was surprised to find that it was not like the usual ribbon that ended just below her waist. No, the bow was long and elegantly trailed over her back, like a robe she guessed. She had no idea how she looked, but she hoped she looked fine.

After putting on everything and slipping on her zhori, she proceeded to the living room and sat patiently, to wait for him.

As if on cue, the gate swung open and Kaoru's sensitive ears picked up the sound of footsteps and turned her head in fervent anticipation to hear his voice.

"Kaoru tada—"

He stopped short, breath taken away by the captivating picturesque that she made. She was perfect. Her hair was tied halfway towards the crown of her head and tied by a single bow. Her kimono never looked as wonderful as it did now, for it hugged her body in almost all the interesting ways, and true to his words, the sleeves were voluminous and slipped past her arms, baring the creamy skin of her shoulders. The midnight sky color of the cloth contrasted against her pale skin and even her dull eyes seemed to radiate a mysterious glow.

"Kenshin? Is that you?" she asked, head turning towards the other side.

"Hai, it's me love." he murmured, nearing her and wrapping her palm inside his.

She smiled graciously glad to have him back. "What took you so long? I thought it would take you forever." She said, pretending to pout but looking adorable in its stead.

"I had some business needed to be taken care of. And I also needed to get you this." He breathed into her ear, fishing out an item inside his gi.

"Another one? What's gotten in you ana-" her words were completely dispelled when she felt the article in her palm. Am I _holding what I'm really thinking?_

"It's a box." She said rather dumbly.

He laughed at her speechlessness. Indeed it was a velvet box and he was more than dying with anticipation for her to find out what was inside. Admonishing her to open it, she did so and gasped.

Had he not encompassed his long fingers against her shaking ones, he was sure she would have dropped it, provided with the shock she felt.

"Ken-shin…" she breathed out… fingering the rounded object that lay on the center of her palm.

"It's a ring…" she murmured, heart suddenly ramming painfully hard on her chest.

He gulped, calming his senses for a bit. _It's time._

"Kaoru…" he started, assisting her to her feet and kneeling in front of her. " I know we've been through a lot of trials. Trials, which will forever leave their marks in our hearts… But I know we could overcome them all… if we are one…"

She gasped, "Kenshin…"

"Love, I don't care if all odds are against us… if I would forever carry this pain to make you happy…I don't care Kaoru… all I'm asking is for you to be always at my side… always and forever… marry me Kaoru…" he finished, heart beating mercilessly against his ribcage.

For a moment, time stood still, with both of them trapped in its grasp. That 5-second silence was the most terrifying moment of his life, knowing that at one wrong answer, his world could completely crumble. He was shaking, his fingers trembling as he held hers in a firm touch.

It seemed as if an eternity had passed before slowly, thin films of tears began to run in Kaoru's cheeks. She remained immobilized, and Kenshin kept his breath.

"Kenshin… I… Of course I'll marry you!" she finally exclaimed, hands wrapping itself lovingly at either side of his face. And as euphoria erupted in his chest, he slipped the ring on her finger, unbelieving at how perfectly it looked at her.

"How does it look like?" she asked softly, fingering the ring.

Disappointment could not affect him at this moment and he gushed out. "It's a gold band with a sapphire diamond on top. It looks… perfect on you…" he said, voice thick with happiness.

"But," he stopped, "We're not finished yet." He said to a much-surprised Kaoru. "Since you've agreed to marry me, then, you will marry me, _NOW._ "

"NOW?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes! Come love! The priest is waiting outside."

Although she could still not believe how things flew so fast, she allowed him to escort her towards the garden, where she felt the soft dew, cool on her feet and the scent of honeysuckle catching in the air.

"Watanabe-san… this is Kaoru… my wife to be…" he introduced. "Kaoru, this is Watanabe-san, the priest that will marry us." She bowed gracefully.

And soon, in that garden, in that same garden where she had once chased him, where butterflies and fireflies drifted in the wind, and where the rarest flowers bloom, they were married. It was so simple, only held with the three of them, but it was enough. It was truly enough to bind them as one in the eyes of Kami-sama, the highest god of all forms in Shinto.

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That evening as husband and wife snuggled closer to each other's naked body, Kaoru had asked him, how he was so sure of her answer that he even brought the priest with him.

"That's easy." He chuckled, a deep masculine laugh rumbling in his throat, making her shiver. "I know we've been through a lot. I also know for the fact that our life will never be easy. But you and I could both discern the need for the other right?" he asked, nuzzling her face and stroking her hair.

"But what if I said no instead?" she teased.

He grinned. "Hmmm… you wouldn't."

"And why not?"

He spooned her closer to his side. "Because you love me ne?"

"Yes…" she whispered thoughtfully. She was tired. It could still be done, much to her amazement, even without her sight and decreased stamina. His touches made her all the more sensitive. The way his fingers had made her crazy was still fresh in her mind and her body was still filmed with sweat.

"Sleep now…love." She heard him shush. Resting his chin atop hers and wrapping the blanket securely around their naked forms. Gone was the Battousai inside, he thought. In it, a domesticated man has been replaced. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined falling in love with a prostitute, having passed through so much suffering, heck he didn't even think he would be domesticated enough to cook food, do the laundry or clean the house. It was all a woman's chore in his eyes before. But her fragile condition proved him all wrong. And now, he'd finally married her. It was so foreign. The incredible happiness he felt in his chest that the man was afraid the gods would be asking something from him as payment. He didn't deserve her. Gods, he knew that. And he was afraid they'd take her away. It was absurd, really. Because, if proved earlier, Battousai wasn't afraid of anything, more so death. It had become a common lingo for an assassin like him. The scent of blood forever in his mind and the taste of death lingering as a bittersweet feel on his tongue.

But now… while holding her sleeping form, he suddenly felt afraid. Holding her body closer, he silently prayed for the gods to guide her. Not necessarily him, it would be too much to ask for, just her. Keeping her safe was enough.

_Tbc…_

AN: Awww… , I made up for all the drama in the last chapter ne? This chapter was filled with mush! I tell ya!

Hmmm… if you're wondering how come KnK got hitched that easily, well… I'm wondering too… I just thought, hey! wouldn't it be different if this is the way things happened:D I hope I don't get violent reactions with that… anyways, I believe it was kinda sweet ne? And besides… they're running out of time… OOPPSS! Covers mouth with hand Uh… well… Sweatdrops Sorry for ranting on… Um..Sweatdrops… I better go! Runs away

Don't forget to review okay?


	12. Chapter 12:Conflicting Emotions II

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

November 18, 2005

AN: Eiou! Once again, as promised, another chappie!

First and foremost, I would really like to apologize for a tremendous mistake I've made… actually, if you look at it, this whole fic is a mistake Sobs TT… I mistook a geisha as a prostitute... (so now you see where our problem starts) I would want to make a few clarifications though: What my other reviewers said was right: A geisha doesn't pleasure men… they're more of fashion models during their era in Japan back then. They are not women of the night, rather, they entertain… so they're not sex symbols. Ok?

I'm really really sorry for having this mixed up… It is only when my readers pointed that error out did I hear about the book _Memoir of a Geisha… _I'm really really sorry… I haven't started reading the book yet, but I will. It's a good book they say. (I heard the movie's coming out this December… I plan to watch it of course.)

But regarding this fic, I won't put it on hold just because of this error, rather, I will try to finish it up to the end, and hopefully recreate a fic a bit similar to this one (with a different plot of course) but with lesser errors and wrong implications.

I'm really sorry. I hope I don't get multiple flames for this. I just hope you guys would understand and help me learn more about this stuff.

RK doesn't belong to me.

Oh and before I forget, I've posted another multi-chapter fic on FF net. It's set on the OVA/ Seisouhen arc. KnK of course. It's called _Separate me From You. _Please give it a shot and review.

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The Ishinshishi headquarters was dark and silent as the shadow assassin silently stalked towards the main entrance. He had wanted to talk to Master Katsura, wanted to tell him something so important. He had known that the older man had been very mad at his sudden disappearance and lack of enthusiasm at his work. He had been questioned about it, but Katsura could never draw any coherent answer from the Hitokiri. Except maybe for tonight.

The guards who were watching on the front porch had a mixed expressions flashing on their faces. He had known that he was to be banned on the Ishinshishi headquarters. They would fight back, if he still proceeded. But he knew this men, knew their attitudes just like his own, and so, just one look of a murderous glint passed on to them was enough to send them scurrying to open the gates.

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"**_YOU'RE WHAT!"_**

He was sure Katsura's roar would have reached even the far outskirts of Kyoto.

"I'm leaving the Ishin." He calmly said.

Katsura's face held on a look of pure rage and disbelief. What had changed in his most prized assassin for the boy to suddenly quit?

"Himura, do you know what you're saying! The revolution has not been finished! You're the Ishin's ace for God's sake!" he roared, almost upturning the low table in its stead.

His answer was cool and undaunted. "I'm married and I'm settled. "

For a moment, Kenshin thought the old man would suddenly convulse and have a heart attack there and then. What with the murderous look that had plastered itself on his wrinkled face. But his voice was quick to dismiss any feel of pity to the younger assassin.

"YOU"RE WHAT! WHAT IN KAMI-SAMA'S NAME HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO! DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK SOMEONE WOULD LOVE YOU? AFTER THE MONSTER YOU HAVE BECOME? HAH! YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION! YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA! YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE WAR!"

Inwardly, he was itching to grab his katana and deliver a quick slash on his master's face. But that was not how he worked. Although Katsura had indeed been in charge with creating his Battousai persona, he still respected the older man. Though this time, he would have to disobey his master for the first time.

"Katsura-san," he started, voice low and bangs hiding his glinting amber eyes." For several years I have been faithful to you. And I never disobeyed your orders. When you say I kill, I kill, even if my judgment has been clouded and I never knew what I had been fighting for. Demo," he said, looking up and scaring the old man, "I won't allow that now." He finished, putting dark emphasis to his words.

Before Katsura had any more words to say, the Hitokiri Battousai quickly turned upon his heels, fully intending to leave the room and the Ishinshishi compound, _forever. _But it was not before he heard Katsura's enraged voice from behind

"_IT'S NOT YET OVER HIMURA… THE WAR HAS NOT BEEN WON …YOU ARE ALL IT TAKES TO WIN!AND I SWEAR WE'RE NOT FINISHED! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HAVE TO BURN THE WHOLE OF JAPAN TO FIND YOU, I WILL!"_

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It was already dawn when he came back to the house. Opening the shoji, he found her sleeping form still wrapped around thick layers of blanket, her breathing deep and heavy. He smiled, in spite of the fact that his mind had suddenly entered the state of turmoil. _I'm glad she isn't awake…_ Moving sideward to exchange his gi to a much comfortable yukata, he felt her stir and so he turned to face her.

"Kenshin? Kenshin is that you?" she said softly, sleepy eyes opening.

'Yes. Go to sleep." He murmured. "Did I wake you up when I went out?" he asked, a bit guilty for having woken her up.

"Hai…but. I chose not to worry; I knew you'd always come home." sleepily She said, voice light and soft, a smile gracing her face.

He nodded and slid his body next to hers. But even as he spooned her nearer to his side, and tried to sleep, Katsura's voice kept reeling in his head.

_YOU'RE A MONSTER.._

_JUST A MONSTER…_

_MADE FOR KILLING…_

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"_He has been awfully quiet today." _She thought as she waited patiently for him at the porch. _"I know there's something bothering him… What's bothering him?"_

She heard him come out. The closing of the shoji and the silent whispers of his tabi echoing in the wooden floor.

"Kenshin?"

"I brought some tea" she nodded as her hand searched for the teapot. As her fingers connected with the hot porcelain, she gave a slight shriek and quickly pulled her finger away.

"ITAI!"

He laughed slightly, inspite of himself. "Careful koi, it's hot, you might burn your dainty fingers there." He teased.

"Feh, I just did." she retorted, pouting. She felt him take hold of her finger and press it softly to his mouth.

"There, pain's all gone now" he murmured making her blush.

He assisted her in pouring tea in her cup, careful not to scorch her fingers yet again. After that, they settled in silence, both wanting to talk about something, but not knowing how or when to start.

"Kenshin,"

"Kaoru,"

It was so much the same time that Kaoru could not help but giggle. "You first." he admonished.

Nodding, she couldn't help but blush. "Kenshin… I noticed you've been quiet today… Is there something bothering you?"

_Yes_… "No… there's nothing bothering me… I'm fine." He completely lied. He immediately regretted saying that, for a look of hurt flashed on her face. "Oh… I see… if you don't want to talk about it…" she trailed off, face looking away.

For a moment, he did not speak. Afraid of her oncoming reaction. She was right. There have been some things bothering his mind. Things that have repeated itself on his mind ever since he came back from his visit in the Ishinshishi headquarters. But how would he say it? It wouldn't be easy. And now, now that he has left the group, he had not only jeopardized his life, but Kaoru's as well.

_DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK SOMEONE WOULD LOVE YOU? AFTER THE MONSTER YOU HAVE BECOME?_

_YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION!_

_YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA!_

_YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE WAR!_

She had made a move to stand up, having been offended with his lack of interest in sharing whatever problems he may have. After all, they were, husband and wife and it was only rightful for them to share each other's burdens was it not? Slightly huffing in irritation, she would have gone inside their room had not a swift hand connected at the hem of her kimono

"Kaoru…wait…"

There was something in his voice that made her turn around. Regardless at her lack of sight, she knew that his face was somewhat filled with pain, eyes downcast with guilt and voice laden with a growing ache. Hearing him like this made her regain her position earlier, this time permitting him to speak.

"Kaoru… am I… am I a monster..?'

She was shocked, at least to say. His words were so violent, so depreciating and containing so much hatred towards himself. For a while, she could not speak, mind unable to comprehend any words.

Her words mean so much to him and when she did not speak, Kenshin suddenly felt a falling feeling on the pit of his stomach.

"I take that as a yes…" he quietly said, face becoming impassive yet eyes filling with sadness and torment.

"No…no... It's not what you think..." she whispered, trying hard to reach him. He would not move however, would not touch her hands with his.

"Kenshin…" she tried to pacify his growing bitterness. When he did not speak, she groped around her, finding his palms. And when she did, she spoke in a firm voice.

"Kenshin... Kenshin look at me." His face was turned into the other direction so her hands forced its way towards the either side of his face. "I said look at me Kenshin." Satisfied when he did, she now spoke with a softer, gentler tone.

"You are not a monster. You have never been one. "

Though her words were comforting, it was not so easy to dispel his fears and she sensed that.

"Tell me, is this the one you've been thinking about?" she asked, face etched deep with worry. He nodded, like an arrogant child slowly being tamed.

"Some-someone told me I don't belong here…" he said, eyes downcast face darkened. " I only belong to the hands of war… to the revolution…"

_YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION!_

"Who told you that?" she demanded in a loud voice. "That man ought to know who he is dealing with! What made him say that! He has no right to judge you!"

He bade no answer, one that made her grit her teeth. Although she could no longer see, she knew his stubbornness to really believe he was taking all of these in a stride.

_YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA!_

"Kaoru… am I just a tool?..a tool for… killing?' he asked voice suddenly sounding so strained.

She was horrified, to tell the truth, what with the morbidness present in his words… heaven knows who put those thoughts in the man's mind. He was a deep person, filled with so much secrets and intrigue. Having a past darker than any shade of blood and he was also stubborn. He fought for what he believed and for what he thought was right.

"No. You are not just a tool for killing and you most certainly are not a monster. It's the one who told you those words who is a monster. For judging someone will never be right. You are a man. A man who deserves to live and love just like any other man. It's not your fault you got involved in the revolution. It's not you're fault that you became an assassin. You just did what you thought was right. You fought for what you truly believed was right. No one could blame you for doing that. The same goes as no one could blame me for choosing my wretched profession, because that was at first what I believed was right."

She was so absorbed in making him learn that she didn't notice the trail of tears slipping past her dull eyes and falling to their enclosed hands.

He didn't respond, merely closed his eyes and thanked whoever gods were responsible for sending him this blessing of an angel. She was his light; his salvation and one could not comprehend the depths of his emotions far better than she can. Her words meant so much for him. He was thankful for her; her assurance telling him that it is not considered a sin for him to love. That he was still a person, still not numb for the taste of life. It meant to him more than anything because then, he was ready to plunge into the arms of depression with Katsura's words.

He couldn't find the words to say, so instead of saying anything, he pulled her closer to him and descended his lips against hers, conveying his gratitude, love and pent up need.

After the searing kiss they shared, she had settled in his arms while he leaned on the porch beam, watching their growing garden.

"Kenshin?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you see?" she breathed out.

Brows knitting and wondering if she meant the perspective or the view, he went for the latter.

"I see our garden, it's thriving, you know that?" he affectionately said, "The sakuras are blooming at this time of the year and the honeysuckle has started to produce their vanilla smell. My roses are well of course," he joked, voice full of pride, "and well, it's pretty beautiful. But you're still the most beautiful oh lovely one." He teased, nuzzling her face and tickling her at the process. Shrieking in glee, she thought that the man she married was a totally extreme man. When he was happy, his euphoria was infectious, but when he chose to be sad, well… he magnetized everyone's energy as well. _Wow… talk about mood swings…_

"What are you thinking about koi?" he asked. When she shook her head, a mischievous look passed his eye and his fingers suddenly flew to tickle her at her sides.

"Oh… I see what you're thinking huh…" he teased, tickling her so hard she was pleading for him to stop. Finally giving up, she said between pants of breath and laughter.

"Oh well, you see I feel happy that I still haven't totally lost my sight yet. "

"What do you mean?"

"I still have you… you're my eye Kenshin." She admitted shyly, a blush staining her pale cheeks.

Smiling, he allowed her to snuggle deeper into his masculine chest; ember colored locks mingling with her jet-blacks. She breathed a sigh of contentment and leaned her head against his form.

"You know what Kenshin… I feel so happy…" she trailed off, eyes closing and lips forming a graceful smile.

His breath fluttered as he gazed at her peaceful form. Nevertheless, she continued,

"I know… that the time is nearing when I will have to go… but if I—"

"Kaoru." He cut off, alarmed by the sudden change of her speech patterns.

"No… Kenshin… please let me finish… I've really wanted to tell you this for a long time… just please listen…" she murmured. Nodding his head, she continued. "I know I'd have to die sooner or later... I could feel my body growing weaker every day… no matter how hard both you and I try to fight the disease… and my blindness isn't helping…but I'm still happy… I don't care if I die… because I have you… you know that? I'd rather die with a disease, with you, rather than be healthy and stay at that wretched whorehouse… No… I very much prefer you…" she whispered. Eyes opening and staring into nothingness. Reaching out a hand, she began to stroke his face, fingers unwittingly settling on his scar. "But… if I die… I want you to promise me something Kenshin…please promise me that you won't ever ever feel bad about it…"

"But Kaoru!" he protested." It's like asking me for the moon! You know very well I can't do that!"

"Hush…" she silenced, finger pressing itself upon his lips. "You don't need to feel sad... after all… I'm sure we'll still meet again…in heaven…" she smiled.

He shook his head, almost too violently. "Kaoru… I won't… I am a killer remember! I've taken so many lives …"

"No… Kenshin… that's not the way it works… you have such a good soul… although tainted by the world… you are starting to learn your lesson… that's a good thing and besides," she added. " I know, heaven or hell, you'd still find me." She finished voice trusting and compassionate.

He could only sigh, not knowing what more to say. He could only do so much, say so much or feel so much. It seemed that what she asked of him was impossible, for her death would be the biggest blow in his life. He would die, just die, knowing that she had already left him alone in this world.

"I love you…" he could only whisper… like a mantra playing in his mind, giving him the assurance he needed.

"And I love you too…" she whispered back, reaching out to embrace him.

He did so without reserve, and buried his face in the fall of her hair. It was a mutual act, only for man and wife, a simple touch that meant everything, simple words that gave the entire world meaning. Both could only close their eyes and relish each other's touch. It was something so important for them, something so precious and something desperately needed. A sign of comfort and reassurance that no matter what happens, each one of them would still find shelter in the other's loving arms.

_TBC…_

Of course you haven't forgotten the fact that Kenshin was still working for someone have you::raises eyebrows suggestively, In the OVA, I think Katsura was a good boss. Kenshin looked up to him, but in this fic… well, I chose him to be the bad guy if you know what I mean.

And oh, regarding once again about the different more passionate Battousai we see now… well, I've explained that part haven't I? And well… He needs to make Kaoru feel how much he loves her while there's still more time…

Cliffhanger? Oh well, find out in the next chappie!

Please try to read and review my new posted multi chaptered fic. I would really really appreciate it if I get many reviews from you guys.

JA!

Bluerose


	13. Chapter 13:Time Stops and Eternity pass

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

November 26, 2005

AN: Oh dear… you guys are in for some DRAMA! Hmmm… Winks winks oh well, after all, this _is_ the second to the last chappie sobs

RK doesn't belong to me.

Please review!

K

N

K

Kenshin didn't know why, but for the next few days, he felt tensed and nervous about something. He didn't know what the reason was; it was just like feeling the presence of rain before the onslaught of the storm. For nights, he lay still, alert and listening, ki high and ready to jump at any intruders. Kaoru had assured him, quieted his own fears by her own words of actions and soothing gestures, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough to drive off the nagging feeling in his chest.

On one particular afternoon, he had seen a figure running away from his house from the corner of his eye. That had been enough for him to realize that someone was keeping an eye on both of them and probably, planning to attack them, moreover seize them in a surprise attack. Hastily shaking a sleeping Kaoru awake at the porch, a feeling of overwhelming dread and terror seized his chest as he grabbed a few thick clothes and stuffed it inside a sack. She had questioned him, but she had somehow felt the panic that was rising on his throat and she had kept silent, allowing him to drag her deeper into the woods.

But as fate would have it, the pair had not yet gone farther into the thick forest when the man suddenly stopped cold in his feet, breath knocked off his throat.

He could sense someone; or rather he could sense _them._

They had hidden their ki before, but now, it was as if they had purposely heightened their kis to alert him of their presence. He was gripped with fear and trepidation. If he was alone, he could well fight them off, leave them dead and escape. But she was with him, and he couldn't afford her getting hurt, not with her condition, not with her situation.

"Kaoru, run." He hissed between his breath. Though he would have known, she would rather stay behind.

"No, I'm staying here with you. "

Though he would like to argue, it wasn't really the most convenient of times to start a petty fight and his eyes widened as he saw someone step in front of him.

"Well well well.. I told you; you wouldn't be seeing the last of me Himura."

"KATSURA!" he spat out, vile present in his tone. He was already shaking, not with terror but with frenzied rage.

"Himura, it's a shame we meet this way… I've told you that you're nothing but a monster, made for war and living a simple life is just not apt to your _mechanism_ have I told you not?" he hollered sarcastically

"So it's you who told him about that crappy piece of shit. It's you who've told him all that bull!" Someone yelled.

Startled, he caught sight of a woman standing beside the hitokiri. She was beautiful, he had to admit, and they made a striking pair.

"Oh… I see miss lovely in the corner… got a fiery spirit eh? But wait… you look familiar… too familiar for my liking." He hissed, tentatively encircling her, eyes roving towards her lithe form.

"Aha! You're the Bluerose… the star prostitute of the Red Dragon Teahouse… Hmmm…" he muttered, trying to touch her skin, greedy lustful eyes turning to her. "It's a pity I didn't get the chance to bed you… but that would come later…" he snarled, inhaling the scent of jasmine that clung to her tresses.

At once, the blade of a katana firmly found its way on his throat.

"Touch my woman and die." The hitokiri Battousai hissed.

The older man was taken aback. What's this? The Hitokiri Battousai had married a whore?

"Himura? I thought you had a better taste when it came to women? I never thought you'd find earthly pleasure with such a dirty, filthy prostitute!" he spat out.

She gasped and hearing her do so was the last of his binding. Control shattering, he shouted an estranged kiai and charged for the man. In a few moments, it was over, Battousai emerging as victorious and the bloodied body of Katsura lying motionless on the floor.

As soon as the Ishin members saw their master fall to the ground, they all faced the standing couple to charge. As quickly as his reflexes can, Kenshin grabbed Kaoru in the waist and fled as fast as his lightning quick steps could carry him.

Their distance was far, but he felt her growing weakness. Her coughing had returned, accompanied by the pooling of blood in her throat. Looking behind, he judged that they were in a safe distance and slowed down. Laying her in between the widely spread roots of an oak tree, he was startled with what he saw.

Her face was as white as linen sheet, with only the rich dark color of blood contrasting against it. Her eyes, dull before were now clouded with pain as tears leaked out, a sign of her hidden pain. She'd cough blood, stop, and gasp for breath and the coughing would start all over again. It seemed that the incident earlier had taken its toll on her body, making her weak and very much vulnerable. But he could not afford to settle now. That would mean giving both of their lives up. No, he wanted to leave her in a place somewhat peaceful and out of danger before he could face the remnants of his shattered past. He made a move to carry her once more, when a feeble hand stopped him.

"Ken-shin… don't…" she gasped, her breath becoming shorter. "Don't... Do this… anymore…. Leave me… here…" she whispered, eyes shutting close and tears involuntarily falling.

"Kaoru! What in the name of hell are you talking about! I can't afford to leave you here!" He almost yelled his voice three notches higher. He didn't expect her to say those words, and he was really taken aback.

"I… I'm growing… weak…I'm just going to slow you down…" she panted, coughs coming back again and blood making its way in its stead.

He then heard something rustle near the thick foliage of leaves that surrounded them, but he paid no heed to it, his attention more focused on her failing health. He was desperate; he knew that she was somewhat right. She was never going to make it… She had become too weak to even stand up…But if he tried…

And then all of a sudden, there was a deafening shot followed by a blood-curling scream.

"_KENSHIN!"_

Things just happened too fast and before he knew it, he was suddenly on the floor, Kaoru's form lying heavily on top of him. As he turned to reach out for her, his fingers were dipped into a sticky coating. Turning to look at it, he was staggered with what he saw.

It was her blood.

His heart suddenly stopped beating, his senses turning void and his mind abruptly going blank.

She had saved him.

She had heard the gunfire coming. Heard it before he did, and she had used her own body to serve as his shield and protect the bullet from penetrating exactly at the center of his chest.

He suddenly went numb.

She had saved him.

She had saved him.

It was a repeating mantra all over his head while he regained consciousness of his self-being. She was injured far worst than he had thought so, shrapnel of the bullet slightly protruding from her blood coated back. Her right shoulder was held in an odd angle and then and there did he realize that the bullet had penetrated her shoulder bone.

At once, a lump formed itself on his throat and liquid films of water had started to run on his dry cheek.

He looked around in time to see the attacker scurry in the bushes. The man was totally frightened…too frightened to do anymore harm.

_But it doesn't matter any more…_

She was still conscious, much to his relief; though one could never measure the tremendous pain she was experiencing right now. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was sputtering blood.

It was too morbid for her own sake.

There was too much blood. On her dress, on her face, skin, even her hair was coated with the sticky liquid. The faint metallic taste of the coppery fluid was fresh on his tongue as he held her shivering form.

"Ken—shin…." She murmured, eyes opening slightly.

"I'm here… love…" his voice was shaking, breaking into shushed whispers as tears fell down his face to plop gently on hers.

"Ken—shin…" His name had never sounded so endearing… and at the same time cruel to his ears.

"Rest… koi… I'm going to find you a doctor… and he's going to heal you… I.. promise…" he trailed off, knowing fully well how terrible a lie he had bitten out.

She smiled inspite of her numbing pain and it only served to fuel his desperation and hopelessness.

"Ken—shin… remember… our… promise?"

He closed his eyes, uncertain if his mind was still clear to think of any other coherent thought than her dying form in his hands.

"You… Agreed… That… you… won't be sad… when… I'm gone…" she murmured, in between light sucks of breath.

He tried to stifle a sob unwilling to make her feel that they were both indeed doomed. But the sound came out as a strained, animalistic howl, making him only more anguished.

"I… promise you… anata… that… even in the next world… I will still love you…" she whispered, sobs finally coming out. "I… promise you… that I will always love you… even after death…" it was catching up on her too. She didn't want to leave… she still wanted to _live_. Her sobs were pitiful and he could only gaze in morbid fascination as her tears began to mingle with the blood on her face.

"I… love… you… Himura… Kenshin…" she said, her remaining strength slowly ebbing away.

"I love you too Kaoru! I love you! I swear! Please… don't leave me Kaoru! Please oh gods! I beg of you…" he cried, embracing her form.

"Live Kenshin… live for me…" she whispered in his ears, breathing his scent for the last time.

"Kaoru… Kaoru… why must everything…" But as if for the last time, she had again gently cut him off, her bloody finger resting on his lips reminding him of the many times she had done so.

"Hush… love…kiss me…" she gently chided.

He had no other choice but to comply. And as his lips finally touched her shivering ones for the last time, his mind flew back to all the things they had shared, from their first meeting to all the people they had met and gone off. _Everything started to filter his mind, like an old film suddenly coming back to life again._

"_I will wait for you…"_

She had managed to say those words, before he felt her grip slacken, eyes fluttering close and her final breath caressing his skin.

For a moment he just sat there, unmoving, unflinching, but when it dawned on him that he was only holding a mere shell of her once vibrant soul, he started to sob, then cry, and he broke down, body collapsing to the ground, holding the body of his wife, cradling it in his arms like as if doing so would bring her spirit back.

And from high in the heavens above, his scream of anguish, pain, torment and suffering ripped the skies echoing across the firmament.

_TBC…_

Please review!


	14. Chapter 14:Epilogue Forever

Fanfiction ny Blueroseulan

December 4, 2005

AN: Okay guys! The last chappie :sobs: I just wanted o thank y'all for reviewing and supporting and correcting me in this whole fic… what can I say? You guys RAWK!

The epilogue would be a bit short, and it almost… almost doesn't tie the whole fic up (Hmm… do I hear the word '_sequel'_?) so there. I might make one… maybe, if I feel like it… Oh anyways, why the heck am I ranting! Go on and scroll down!

I needn't remind you to leave a review, need I? .

_EPILOGUE_

The newly invented colossal steamboat slowly started to pull into a stop. Many a crew could be seen ushering the excited passengers towards the romp that was fastened to the land. Swarms of people could be seen selling their wares to foreigners or _gajins _in the native tongue. Cries of street merchants and prostitutes filled the atmosphere as the sun shone directly from the sky. Everyone had been excited to come to Japan, either for the first time, or returning to their own homeland and the road was hardly walkable because of the people crowding and trying to upturn one another.

A man dressed in heavy foreign clothes slowly made his way towards the silence of the woods. It had been so much long a time but his feet still knew where to take him. Measured steps deliberately found itself on a familiar path. A path, which led towards an abandoned cottage, nestled in the heart of the forest.

_It has been so long since I last stepped foot on this place…_he thought inwardly as he slowly made his way towards the door. _Surely, robbers have been in this place... Or else… I would find the things I've left so long ago…_

Yet true to his words, things inside the cottage remained untouched, had not layer upon layer of dust collected itself atop cabinets and frameworks, one would have probably guessed that a living soul had still been occupying the place.

Bit by bit he had slowly unraveled the thick layers that covered his features and his body, his true form began to show. His hair was still the same color, ever glowing as the dark red embers of the night. Red as fire, red as blood still. His eyes still held the amber glow, though it was no longer a burning fire, nor receded embers. It only held the yellow hue, without much venom and it no longer carried the look of death to anyone who dared to touch… Gone was his youthful face. Replacing it was an old, strangely jaded look he had acquired after he left Japan… _After her death..._ It had been a decade since he last stepped foot on this house, _his _house to be exact and he could not believe how fast he had advanced in his years.

As his trembling hands shakily traced a path above the familiar pillows, the table where they had frequently eaten, and the wall she had frequently used as a guide, memories seemed to crash on his mind.

His feet suddenly led him to a familiar dust covered shoji, and though most painful for him, he pushed the door slightly open.

Their room was just like what he had imagined for years. It had remained untouched, the faithfully rolled futon still resting at the center of the floor, the table where both of them had sat and discussed things. Turning to the time worn cabinet, he held a catch on his throat and he could feel the unexpected wetness from either side of his eye as he opened the dresser.

Her kimonos were still there. Untouched and unused still. It had been thankfully saved from the dust and it didn't look much less a day older than a decade. An unexplainable feeling rushed in his chest as he fingered the kimono he had long ago given her. The silk was still smooth to his touch, but the threads had slowly begun to loosen, nevertheless, holding it made him feel like he was holding her in its stead.

As he fingered the material, he was surprised to feel something hidden inside its voluminous sleeve pocket. Curiosity getting the best of him, his throat suddenly went dry and his knees began to weaken.

It was a letter, addressed to him.

As trembling fingers carefully opened the seal, his eyes began to grow vague with the tears filling it up and he found himself having a hard time reading her elegant handwriting.

_Kenshin…_

_By the time this letter reaches you, I will not be able to be by your side anymore. I will have died while you read this alone. I regret saying that anata… for you know that I never desired leaving you… _

_It's a shame that I cannot remain faithful to our wedding vows that I will stay by your side till the last of your breath, one part however remains steadfast and the same; that I assure you, that I will love you, till the dying ends of time, till death do me apart. To tell you the truth, I am frightened, frightened about the notion of death… I do not know where my soul is leading… Before, I was sure I would go straight to hell, for the heavens do not allow such tainted a soul like me to enter their gates. Now, with the words you've given me, I'm not so sure anymore. Although I know, I've got nothing to feel anxious about, because I know you will follow me… wherever I go… you've proven that well enough…_

_Kenshin… I do not know if this is far too selfish for me to say… but this is the truth and I don't want to die keeping something from you. The truth is, I love you so much, I love you so much it hurts already… My biggest fear is that you won't love me anymore after I have died, buried and my body had been eaten up and decayed. I fervently wish that you wouldn't forget me… If by chance however that you fall in love with someone… I will gladly let you go… I just pray that you still won't forget everything we have shared…_

_My hands feel so shaky right now and my body feels so weak. I hear you enter the house and I have to finish this letter for you have to read it only after I have died. Remember Kenshin.. LIVE! LIVE not only for me… but also for yourself… you are such a kind man, such a good soul and I truly regret leaving you behind… alas… for our lives to become like this… But, I love you… and that is all that matters… _

_Remember anata… I love you… and I will always watch you either high above the clouds in heaven or under the fieriest places in hell… I will always stay beside you, blowing butterfly kisses on your cheeks…_

_Live well… love…_

_Himura Kaoru_

The letter has been stained by the gentle fall of his tears and slowly, he realized that a decade spent in a foreign land was never enough for him to forget her. For her haunting blue eyes and breath taking smile has always been on his mind. It was only now that he realized how much a fool he had been, trying to erase her memory that will forever be sketched in his mind. It was something impossible, he apprehended. For she will always share his body mind and soul. Always and forever.

_I've been trying to avoid you for several years… but it is only now that I have understood that you will forever be with me…_

_I'm home… Kaoru… love…_

_**OWARI . . .**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES**_

Awww… somebody hand me a tissue please (grabs on and sniffles) Thankx :sobs:

I will try to make a sequel to this, though I'm not sure when. But hopefully I can

Thank you guys and I hope you keep on supporting my works!

Ja!

Blueroseulan


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